if I could ever get by with what my son does on his blog.... "I got nothing" and it is just a few sentences long. Hmm. Probably not - as I tend to be much more wordy they he is - and I write out random thoughts where his are usually much more calculated. Am I right, son? You speak your mind much more than I do, for sure. But I use a lot more words to say it. :-) Love you, son.
I don't feel I slept well last night - and yet, my 'wellness' report on my phone is telling me I had a good night's sleep. Somewhere there is a disconnection, you think? I'm not wanting to work today. (duh) I'm not wanting to do anything but curl up in my chair with a good book. And taht feeling is happening more and more frequently.
Hubby was complaining last night of his lower back hurting, and reported it kept hm awake most of the night (he was in his chair asleep when I got up). He told Morgan he wanted to work on his waist - so she took him through some exercises. Guess his body doesn't like it. We did put Voltaren on his back last night but it's really for arthritis. He's just sore - and then sitting all day afterwards probably didn't help much either. I get to do a HIIT tonight and I'm excited about that! I love the challenge it gives me and forces me to do things my body rebels about later. I've been surprised that after these HIITs I am not as sore as one would think I would be. I enjoy the challenge.
Yesterday was a fairly quiet day for work - and I only had a few meetings to pull together. Hubby 'made me' take a short nap yesterday afternoon because I didn't sleep much the night before. I slept about 30 minutes - he slept two hours. Squirrel! I need to go water my plants this morning. Yeah, I'm looking out the window and see my plants are drooping. I have been watering them nearly every day due to them being out in the hot sun. They get the full force of the sun for most of the day. I'm so over this keeping the courtyard nice. I mean, I'm glad it is nice, but plants just won't work with me on looking nice. Interesting. This lady is walking by and she is staring at our courtyard as she walks by. Wonder what that is about.
Met up with my daughter last night at Denny's for dinner instead of one of us picking up or making something. Oh - before I go into that - which is really nothing - I had a great fried chicken salad that was really good. We ended up crocheting at her house after a quick stop at Hobby Lobby.
But - remember my telling you (I think I did) about hubby's confusion over my usual training session on Monday evening? Last night I come out after I shut down the work computer and started pulling my crochet stuff together to take with me - and I had my purse with me, so he asked me where I was going. I looked at him and said 'It's Tuesday night - girl's night out". He looked confused, then said, "Oh, I thought we could have dinner together tonight." He had men's bible study at church. He has one more week and then that class will be over for the summer. It was odd - again - that he forgot a normal Tuesday 'function' of my daughter and I meeting up. Tonight we have nothing that I can think of, so I need to figure out what to fix for dinner. He does have a doctor's appointment around noon today so I'm hoping that he will be honest with Dr. Mark and tell him he is getting confused about things. I know it can happen once in a while to all of us. Many times I have forgotten what day it is - and I'm sure you have too. But I guess we are more aware of hubby's because he IS 88 and is showing signs of forgetfulness and other things. One thing I have definitely noticed is that he is afraid of everything. Meaning, when he prays for us, he is praying for our home, our courtyard, our neighbors, our area, and us as well - but it is intense to keep angels on guard around us to protect us. That started with the current protests happening - and one as near a mile away - but you know what? We never heard anything about it so I don't even know if it happened. Fear is a horrible thing to hold close! But he has always been the fearful one - especially of being alone, of me not being here.
If one thinks back to 30-50 years ago, I'm sure you would not be thinking you would be where you are today. I certainly didn't. I never dreamt that life would be what it is here. Not that it is all bad, I'm not saying that. Hubby was always the active one when we first met and got married. He was the one who always wanted to do things the first couple of years. But after that - nothing. He reads, watches TV, naps, meets with friends, goes to bible studies. That's his life. Oh yeah, he works out too, but nothing like he used to. I know a lot of it is age, but I feel it is also laziness over the years. I used to be a lot more active as well, staying up late at night baking or reading or doing lessons. Now I just want to go to bed and get 6-7 hours sleep in before I start work! I can honestly say I feel I have no life either, at least on most days. And that's partially my fault. And I'll leave that there. I should have been more assertive instead of giving in. Anyway....
It's Wednesday - hump day. The youngest is leaving Mississippi today and heading to Clovis, New Mexico which is a 13 hour drive from where he is. He will head back to Arizona on Friday morning, staying up north Friday night and coming on down on Saturday. I love that he has kept in touch with me so much; he calls me every night to touch base and let me know what they did that day. I think he said they have put over 5000 miles on the rental car - good thing they have unlimited mileage!
Ephesians 6:4 (NKJV): And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
Sometimes when one reads the bible it is hard to believe that issues back then are issues we have now. Things really have not changed, have they? Children and parents often fight - often have disagreements - often confuse each other of 'things'..... and yet, here we are. Hindsight is always better than foresight, for sure. I truly wish I had been strong enough to stand up for certain things. And I blame my mother and what she allowed in our family to subdue me. "What the man says is law" was her motto - was that perhaps how she was raised as well? My sister and I have often wondered. I let 'the man of the house' control - n both marriages - my future. A future that I'm sure God has walked me through every step of the way, He knew what my future would be like. But, He also allowed me to make decisions that probably weren't the best. But God has been good to me through it all. I wish I had been strong; I wish I believed in myself. But that is all in the past and I can not change those things.
But I can change who I am now and what I am now. Do I still make mistakes - absolutely. I think we all do. The main things, in spite of all my mistakes in raising my children (yes, I own their issues) is that I pray they have always known I have loved them deeply, and I pray for them. As they are no longer little, I cannot direct, but I can love, and I can pray, and I can be here when they need to talk. A momma's bond with their children can never be broken. No matter what. Those of you who are married and have children know exactly what this bond of love is that binds them so close. And I choose to never let it go.
But - speaking of letting go - I gotta let go of this blog cause it's time to get on the work computer already! Yipes! Hope that you have an amazing day! (see what happens when I let my mind wander over the past? I get lost in it).
Blessings!
