You should see how the courtyard is coming along! My SIL has been so busy with trimming and pulling up the plants I requested, working on the AC filter (grandson ordered a custom made filter for us!) and just general work that needs to be done - even that I didn't know needed some work! I love that he cares enough about us that he will spend his 'vacation' time working on our house, but I also feel bad that he spends his time working on our house. I think he enjoys the outdoors more than indoors - and I don't blame him. It was windy and warm yesterday, but overall, not too bad in the morning. In fact, while he was working on the AC, us girls went outside and sat in the courtyard for awhile.
Breakfast went well, I think. I hope no one left hungry! I kept a few pieces of eggs ole for hubby, but sent the rest home with the granddaughter. She can heat up for breakfast for the crew staying with her today. My daughter and hubby will get either waffles or cereal, cause I don't think I'm cooking! LOL I went shopping with the girls (only Target) for a short while yesterday, and when we came back in the door, hubby was snapping at the grandson and grandson in law. Guess there was some kind of discussion and since I wasn't here, I'm not going to comment on it. Things were testy after that with the 'family' quickly getting things together and getting out of here. I/we were invited to go with them to Chuckie Cheese, but hubby just refuses to go (too noisy) and it is easier for me to stay home.
But that is where things changed last night. The easier for me to stay home part. Please tell me if I was wrong to do this. I had a conversation with my big brother last night. I was really feeling left out and down (no one's fault, just a feeling cause I wanted to be with my family) and I text'd my big brother. And then I tried to delete the text (you know, you write it out and then tell yourself, naw, don't do that), and it wouldn't let me delete it So I told him to ignore it. And he came back and said 'ignored'... and then shared how he and his wife don't always do things together. I tell you what, I feel they have the most perfect marriage that I've ever been around. Now mind you, I haven't been with them in all situations, but the few times I've been with them - they show each other respect, and love, and don't take each other for granted. I tell them they are my goal in marriage. Well, moving on with that...
Anyway, I shared with hubby that I really did want to go to the zoo with the kids today......... but know that hubby won't/can't go. We went a few months back with my youngest son and some of his family - and we only got through the aquariums as hubby was tired and couldn't walk any farther. I haven't been through this zoo since all three kids lived at home - that's how long its' been. Well, I left it with the kids WE wouldn't be going, but have a good time. But I really wanted to go and hang out with them. Hubby kept saying we couldn't miss church. Well, my brother encouraged me to tell hubby I was going and go to the zoo. If he doesn't want to go - that's fine. But because of his inabilities (within reason, of course), it shouldn't limit me living life. So I told hubby I was going. The first words out of his mouth was "WHY?"
Because I want to? He finally realized that I was really going to leave him here at home alone. Not to build myself up, but I don't go to a lot of things because he can't - or he doesn't want to go. I try to 'respect' his wishes..... and not leave him home alone. He isn't an invalid. But when I do that, inside I die just a little bit more, for I know that I am missing out on living life. So then his tune changed to "I wish I could go, but I don't want to slow you down." So I told my brother I was going to go - and to prove I did and was having fun, I am to send him photos. My big brother has always been my biggest cheerleader in encouraging me to do things. I've shared before his challenges to me. I feel I have lost so much of my life; there is so much I could and want to be doing, but hubby has always held me back because he feels when I'm involved and he isn't, then he is slighted. Insecurity is a terrible thing, people! Anyway - I am going to the zoo today with the family! My daughter and grandson and their families are going to church at 8:30a and will pick me up on their way to the granddaughter's after church. Our service at 10:30a is televised so hubby said he would watch it then. I think he is afraid to drive for I usually have to park aways down the row by the third service, and usually drop him off at the door - he can't walk that far for fear of falling. Enough of all that. So am I wrong to go to the zoo with family and not stay home with hubby and do our usual routine of quiet time, church, and then TV all afternoon?
And then today, I get a message from Messenger X - which is John Bevere's website. I get a MX daily with good things to think about. Today's is: You can't control what happens - but you can control how you respond.
Next weekend we will be 'getting away'. I really would like to go alone, but always feel guilty for even if stays in the hotel room, hubby likes a change of scenery too. But I have next Saturday night with my friend. More on that later in the week.
And with that, I need to get off here and finish up my quiet time. I hear my daughter up so need to figure out breakfast for them. Coffee too, of course. Hubby is doing his quiet time. I need to finish up. So I'm off here. Sorry to bore you today. Will share about the zoo tomorrow. One more day off work. Tomorrow is my daughter's 25th BMT birthday. It doesn't look like we can meet my son for lunch for which it makes me sad. EVERY one would want to go too. I don't even think I can get my daughter by herself as we do have the granddaughter-in-law here, and it would be rude to take off and leave her here alone. The guys would be busy working on the house and hubby knows enough to leave them alone.
Have an amazing Sunday. I apologize in advance, for my ramblings of hubby issues. I share way too much. Just remember - it is one-sided. My thoughts, my words, my interpretation. He really isn't a bad guy... just .................. sigh.
Blessings!
