I am sure we have all heard the saying 'Be careful of the words you speak, for you don't know which ones you will have to eat'. Or something like that. In fact, I haven't thought of that saying in years, until just now. But it pretty much says what I'm referring to this morning.
I started a paperback book last night that I had received recently and it's title is Tongues by Charles Caps. I had seen it on Facebook from one of the places I purchase books from and I thought, hmmm, that sounds interesting. It arrived yesterday and since I didn't have my 'girls night out' last night, decided first to watch a movie. Hubby had left to be with his friends so I was in those rare 'home alone' nights.
I have seen this movie before and it was good then, but for some reason the title popped into my mind and I decided to watch it again. The movie is on Up Faith & Family channel, (although it possibly could be found elsewhere, I'm hoping), and is called "Mountain Top". It's a story about a young man who is an attorney, who decides to walk away from that life and become a minister. That's how it starts. Then another main character is a man by the name of Sam Miller.
Now Sam is a unique man in that God - or as he calls Him - Papa, gives him dreams. When he has a dream, he jumps up and writes it down, and as he tries to figure out what it means, he writes letters to different people that he feels the dream is about. And oh, does God reveal a lot of things to him through his dreams!
Long story short, Sam gets arrested for embezzlement (framed) and he has his wife go see Mike Andrews, the minister, to be his attorney. Why? Mike Andrews hasn't been involved as a lawyer after walking away from it six years ago. But 'Papa' gave Sam Miller a dream and told him to get the minister (not even his church!) to represent him. It's a really good story and it holds your interest.
There are a lot of good parts in this story, a lot of good things happen. I feel like I really got some good vibes (if you will) from this movie last night. One of the things that really stood out to me - and I honestly do not know why it did - but perhaps it is because I need to put it in this blog for someone to read it - perhaps not for today, but for some other time. I don't know - but in the story, the minister/lawyer is telling Sam Miller to not tell the prosecutors specific things about the dreams he has..... and Sam Miller makes this comment.....
"I just can't imagine the disciples telling lies to stay out of prison". (my interpretation, may not be exact).
Now we all pretty much know what all Jesus' disciples went through as they stood up for Jesus and who He was. We undestand their faith and determination to be Followers of Jesus, and not just His fans. Some disciples were beheaded for their faith. Some were crucified. Even Peter, who had denied Christ 3 times, he had to watch his wife be crucified - then they crucified him, but he insisted on being crucified upside down for he did not feel himself worthy to be crucified as Christ was. Read their stories sometime - you will wonder 'what sort of men these were'.
Anyway - I got off topic with the disciples, but the words of Sam Miller really stood out to me last night. Not that I lie - especially not to get out of things - but I thought of Sam Miller's faith in his walk with 'Papa' and how 'Papa' was using him in this story. It stirred me enough that after the movie I had a long talk with Jesus and prayed over our home, prayed over my children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, prayed for whatever came to my mind. It was a joyous time with the Lord last night. Uninterrupted, open, and free. That's the times my heart longs for.
Yeah, the many times I comment about being 'free' - that's it! It isn't about me getting to do things that I want to do - although that is it - I had such an amazing time with Jesus last night! I was on a 'high' with peace. I was reading my Bible (and I must admit that Leviticus is so boring when trying to read it because it is repetitious - for a reason, mind you, but all those sacrifices that we don't have to do anymore. Thank you, Jesus, for that! Jesus was our sacrifice once and for all. No sin offerings, no burnt offerings, no nothing.... all Jesus wants is us. He was our sacrifice, once and for all.
After the movie, and before I read my Bible, I started reading the book 'Tongues'. It really brought home that the words that we speak have an effect even when we think they don't. We may call someone a name, and even if they reject it, that name labels them and they don't forget it subconsciously. Our words - thought and spoken - impact not only the individual speaking them, but whom they are spoken to, and whom that person is around. Think about it before you speak words of discouragement, hopelessness to someone. Speak life to them. Encourage them. Let them know they are valued. Those are the words you want coming out of your mouth.
It was a very good night for me and I hope that I don't forget it soon, and I pray that I have another experience like that again - more frequently. I felt so good, and I slept so well afterwards. It felt like I sleep deep and peaceful. Didn't wake up at all during the night, and when I awoke at 4AM, I told myself 'naw, go back to sleep', but remembered today is Wednesday and it's 'pill day'. So got up to get it over with.
But what is weird this morning is that I woke up with my left arm and hand swollen. To me it is noticeable because it feels so heavy. My rings cannot move, and I can see that my veins in my hands do not stand out as they do on my right hand. I can feel the swollenness, if you will, in my left arm. It's a strange feeling. Did I sleep in one position and that perhaps I stay on my left side all night? I've never had this happen before so I have made note of it on my calendar. I do that so that when I go back to my doctor for any reason (my next appointment isn't until August for my physical), I can tell him that these things have happened - whether knowing the reason or not.
And the reality also hits that I am not as young and agile as I once was. I want to believe that God will honor my request to live to 100 healthy and whole, but what if the answer is 'no'? What if this is the start of medical issues I will need to go through? These thoughts have assailed me this morning and I must admit I felt sad for a moment, for I always want to be here, to leave a legacy for my great grandchildren, and even great-great grandchildren. I want to be a part of their lives in person. I want to tell them stories about Jesus and how good He is.
Reminds me of a song I grew up with - "Tell me the story of Jesus, write on my heart every word. Tell me the stories most precious, sweetest that has ever been heard." Not sure if those are the exact words of the song, but pretty close, I think.
My prayer for myself last night, and again this morning, is that I will be emptied of all I hold on to, and filled with Jesus, so that I can be a vessel filled to overflowing to draw people to Him. Jesus truly is all we need in this life. He is waiting for each one of us to let go of the things that we hold on to - and just as we are - faults, flaws, sins, and all - just come to Him and lay it all down.
No matter what we hold on to in this world, Jesus is the answer. We don't have to have it altogether. We don't have to be perfect. We definitely won't be sinless.
All Jesus wants is us. I choose Jesus.
It doesn't mean my life will be perfect, it doesn't mean I won't suffer, it doesn't mean I will always be joyful.
But it does mean that if all I have is Jesus, He is all I need.
Blessings!
