I didn't say anything yesterday as I was typing in here, but all of a sudden, I got hit with a major migraine that I have not had in probably 20 years. In fact, it took me a little while to identify it as one. As I had started reading my Bible (before typing in here), I noticed a jagged line on the left side of my vision as I read. It wa a half circle jagged line. As I read, it started blocking out an oval shape inch long/wide area to where I couldn't see the words. I quit reading and started writing in here, and it continually got worse. Probably why my blog was a little shorter than usual. By then the thought occurred to me that it might be an aura - what used to hit before a migraine did. But I was healed of migraines 20 years ago. I rarely even have a headache any more.
Then BAMM! It hit. I still had to work yesterday (yes, I could have called off) but then .. well, let's just say I could feel better working. I took an ibuprofen and my vision eventually was restored - which was good cause I needed to take those books back to my friend. I took them to her and came right back home. Oh, I did stop at QT to get gas, and I felt so dizzy, and my head was hurting so badly, thought I'd get another cup of coffee and maybe a breakfast burrito - maybe that would help. It didn't, but I was able to continue home.
Throughout the day I dealt with the headache, with taking whatever I found in the closet to take. I don't have migraine meds anymore. Around noonish hubby and I did get some of the pots moved to the back of the house (and I proved that they were NOT heavy, even with dirt in them)... I could have done it faster alone, but he insisted he had to help. But I got the bushes planted in the pots in the back. We got to disagreeing on some other stuff and I finally just walked away for my head was going to explode. I came back in the house and back to work. I did at one point lay back in my recliner and took a deep nap for about 10 minutes. I know, because I woke myself up snoring.
The headache never went away yesterday, only lessened. I fixed dinner and we ate and I read a little while hubby wore his headset (best purchase I ever made!) and put the TV on mute for me while he watched the Suns game. Around 8PM I got up - I had to go to bed. He came to bed later, but woke me up when he got up at 12:30AM for his morning trek down the hall. I couldn't go back to sleep so after an hour of tossing, I came in here and laid across the bed and after awhile, I got up and took another ibuprofen and was able to go back to sleep.
My head feels better, but I have taken another ibuprofen to keep the migraine at bay. I am determined I'm not going to succumb to it but fight it. May go pick up excedrin migraine today to have on hand, but ibuprofen helps too. I have just heard too much of it can damage the liver so usually try to avoid it. Plus the fact that every time I take it, I have difficulty staying awake, wanting to sleep all the time. I just don't take (or have to) meds very often for pain. It was scary at times yesterday though. I haven't had to deal with those for a very, very long time. Still feeling a bit of residue but I will be ok, I'm praying.
Speaking of praying, I think the reason I got through the day as I did was because I was praying that God would intervene in that headache. I asked Him why was I getting them again because He had healed me of them many years ago. Of course He didn't give me an answer, but there could be many reasons. God didn't 'give' me the migraine, but He 'allowed' it. I need to look past the pain and see what I need to prepare for, what do I need to learn. Do I need to understand what others go through more when they have a migraine? Is it because I am longing and searching and seeking for more of God that the devil is trying to distract me from reading and understanding more? That is probably very likely, especially because the devil also came to torment me last night, and frighten me. That's another story for another day, but it isn't the first time it has happened.
Sometimes - not always - when I am seeking God on a deeper level, things happen that normally do not happen. Oftentimes I don't realize it at the time, but I have come to recognize the distractions when I think back on them. I need to be more alert and attentive to these 'little things' that happen. They are often a prelude to bigger things.
We are still in the Lenten season and today I read in my devotional about fasting. Confession: it has been a long time since I have completely given myself to fasting as I like to. I have often chosen to fast, but it usually ends up being just breakfast or perhaps breakfast and lunch because hubby likes for us to always eat dinner together. And, I haven't felt God tell me (yes, He has told me in the past) to fast a certain period, including dinner. I wanted to start fasting Wednesdays all day as I used to do in the past, but .. believe it or not... I can get past the breakfast time, but then I forget I'm fasting! And I eat something. I want to get refocused on fasting for I believe it draws me closer to God, and closer to Him is where I want to be. I need to get mentally back into it and more focused.
We've done the 'Daniel Fast' or I've done BBCD (beef, bread, chocolate, desserts) for the past several years cause hubby just cannot give up all food. And I've gotten lazy and tired of comments if I try to do a total fast (just water). But you know what, when I can give up food totally, and focus my mind on Jesus, that is when I can feel the closest to Him, and that is where I want to be. Right next to Jesus.
The Rapture will be coming soon and I want to be ready to be taken up into the clouds with Him. I don't want to go through the tribulation for it is going to be brutal for those who do not accept the mark of the beast. What will you do?
Matthew 6: 16-18 (NKJV): "Moreover, when you fast, do not be like the hypocrites, with a sad contenance. For they disfigure their faces that they may appear to men to be fasting. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, so that you do not appear to men to be fasting, but to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees you in secret, will reward you openly."
Perhaps because I try to fast at times without even telling hubby I'm fasting (cause I get the questions of 'why?' and I don't always want to share the 'why') and I only make it through breakfast. But I need to set a date/time frame and just tell him. I used to take an entire day off work and go up to the hermitage in Black Canyon City for a day and overnight... but they don't allow us to rent those anymore. I could go to a hotel, but it is much more expensive. But I am in desperate need of getting alone with Jesus for an extended period of time. Those are the best times ever.
When was the last time you got alone with Jesus and talked with Him for a spell? He's still waiting for you to talk with Him. Why not stop right now, and talk to Him as you would your best friend? Tell Him what's going on in your life, what you are struggling with, and how you need His help. You may, or may not, hear His response, but you will see His hand as you go on with your day. His Peace is well worth the little chat. Try it.
Blessings!
