"God cannot give you a future, until you let go of your past."
I don't know about you, but those words spoke volumes to me. I was listening to a broadcast yesterday with Mike and Cindy Jacobs of Generals International, and this Rabbi Jason... I don't remember the last name.. was on there. Cindy Jacobs is a Prophetess Yes, truly. She doesn't go around and lay hands on everyone. I have met her a few times when I was involved in a prayer coordinator ministry. She is amazing, for sure, and I'm always in awe and want to hear what she says. I was buying some books from her at one of the conferences, and I really, really wanted her to give me a word, but I wouldn't ask for it. How does one ask someone 'give me a Word from the Lord'? She signed my books I purchased and we chatted, but nothing came forth, so I figured God didn't have anything for me. I was disappointed to say the least.
But then there was a time I was at a large meeting at the Franciscan Renewal Center years ago with my pastor and several of the elders of the church... and an elderly woman came up to me and spoke to me - the words were soft-spoken and quiet amongst the noise of everyone talking. I didn't know who this woman was, and unfortunately, didn't hear all the words she spoke to me. Someone later told me she was giving me a Word from the Lord. Unfortunately, I missed it, I'm afraid. Maybe I was not supposed to hear it. I remember it happening, but not the words spoken.
Has anyone ever spoken something to you and you took their words to heart and pondered what they said for awhile? What do these words mean? Why did they say that to me? Is that something I need to pay attention to? Should I just ignore them? Do I need to figure it out?
And life goes on and in time, we forget what was said. Like me, you may remember the incident, but what was actually said, is gone.
A friend once wrote out a 'Word' for hubby and I. I still have that letter around here somewhere and I read it numerous times after we got it. Neither of us understood what she was saying. But there was one thing that was said that I have pondered frequently.
Now you have to understand that change is sometime hard for me. I was raised a certain way. Church was always respectful to the Lord, the service always went a certain way. It was structural, the pastor spoke of hell, fire, and damnation if you didn't know the Lord. The old time religion pastors. I remember it gradually changing and the church got a pastor in the past couple years I lived at home and he didn't make an impression on me at all. Bur I remember Rev. O. O. Boggess. This pastor I knew at the last was told of the abuse at home, and he did not believe me. He didn't know what to do. And did nothing. The Lord will remember him for that. But the pastor that came after him, I heard that he changed things up a lot. He didn't preach with the fire of the Holy Spirit. And after him, another one came to that church who let the church slide even more, away from telling people they need Jesus.
Ah.... I am getting off-track of what I wanted to share from our friend's letter. The one thing that this letter said to us was that we 'were to let go of the religious mindset of the past, and to embrace what the future was bringing'. Not the exact words, but I understand now what she was saying. Hubby and I have talked about it frequently. We didn't understand it then.
Being brought up catholic, hubby was used to a structured service. Being from the background I had with church, I too was used to a structured service. As pastors came (and went) at the church we attended after we moved here, over time we went from a 3 piece suit with a large choir and structure - to a suit coat and tie and a relaxed way of talking. We still had the choir, but that pastor taught us we could be ourselves before God. It wasn't all about structure. He also introduced the second service - and contempory music.
That part was hard for me because I was always raised with the hymns. Oh I fought it, I prayed over it, I cried over it.... and I began to love it. I love the choruses as much as I do the hymns. I told the older generation - 'listen to the words... don't focus on the music'. Alas, the music got so loud, even I found it hard to enjoy the words because we couldn't hear ourselves sing! It was during this time that our friend wrote that letter.
We didn't understand it at the time, but we learned what it meant. Or at least what we think it meant. We weren't to fight against the change, it was still worship to our Lord. We needed to quit thinking things had to be a certain way for us to 'approve'... but if God is in it, we need to accept it. And we have learned not to hold on to the religious order of things that we were taught, but to let the Holy Spirit flow. Sometimes that is not easy. But, it helped us at the last church we were at.
It wasn't three songs and worship was over. Worship could go on for an hour, then the preacher would speak for nearly another hour. Unfortuantely, most times we didn't always 'get' where he was going with it. Course that can happen with any pastor. Which is why we like Jentezen Franklin so well - he does speak from the Bible and his son-in-law Ben Prescott, is another good pastor. There are lots of good pastors out there. We love listening to the pastors at the church we have thought we would make our church home. But getting there and getting involved has proven not as easy as we thought. We are looking at the church again that some friends go to... we have watched it online, but have been told it is totally different atmosphere when you are in person. AND they have a real prayer meeting on Wednesday nights. Where they pray and not send you off in classes. Imagine that. THAT has been a long time in my past. A church who puts prayer first. We won't go this week, but perhaps next week to see how the services go. If we don't feel comfortable, we know that isn't the place for us.
Right now I feel lost as far as churches. I think hubby does too, although he joined the Tuesday morning Bible study at a church nearby. I'm waiting on him to comment on us attending there. Will see. We do need to find a church home that we can plug in to.
This is the wedding of the granddaughter weekend. As mentioned above, I get included in the geting the nails done today. Tomorrow is the rehearsal and surprisingly, we were told we were to attend, although we don't have any role other than going in and sitting down. Afterwards is the dinner, which the grooms' parents have opted for pizza at my daughter's house. Then Sunday is the big day. I still need to press my dress. I'm sure by the time it's all over, we all will be exhausted. We will be leaving the reception soon after the dancing starts as we will be watching the baby and getting her put to bed at our daughter's. And that's ok. Hubby can sleep in the chair - and I will take my crocheting to work on until everyone gets back to the house.
And I have to work Monday morning because of payroll. Not looking forward to getting up early for that. But - it is what it is. I am sure I will be taking a nap later in the day.
I guess I have rambled on enough this morning. Hope that your weekend is amazing.
2 Corinthians 9:8 (NIV) "And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."
Process the past, but let it go, so that God can give you a future.
Blessings!
