I admit, I was scared...

 We went to bed around 10PM last night and I admit I was a bit anxious about the presidential election. Would someone who was brash and outspoken win, or would someone who would let a boy in my great-granddaughter's bathroom at school because they 'identified' as a male, win.  When we went to bed, I think it was 214/193 electoral votes.  Every time I woke up during the night I was praying.  When I got up this morning - I admit - I grabbed my phone first thing.  I had to see the results.  And I praised God.  When I had prayed to God these past few months I wouldn't pray that anyone would win, I prayed that God's will be done.  That if we were to be put in turmoil and unrest for the next four years, were we to be punished for the state of this nation who has turned their back on God?  I would pray, and I would tell Him, 'His will be done on earth as it is in heaven'.  I will admit, I am grateful for the outcome, for at last, I have hope that my great grandchildren will be safe from some things.  Not to say that 'anything can happen', but in my heart I have peace for them.  I spent way too much time this morning reading Glen Beck's Blaze reporting, and found it interesting that one of the articles posted some of the lies that had been told about the winning candidate.  Happy to hear many of the accusations were lies, which I suspected, but I wouldn't know.  UGH I also saw his 'arch-enemy' and 'promoter of accusations' Pelosi also won in her state of California.  Go figure.  Lord, help.  She's too old to be in politics.  Ok - enough of my comments about that.  I am finally 'at peace'.  And I will go visit Ms. Diane and hear her lament about the election.   I just didn't want to fight with her these past few months. Her comment of "I will go to hell before I vote for Trump" brought the evil spirit into the room and I had to escape.  But I didn't stop praying for her.  Not that her eyes would be opened or anything like that; but that her heart would be softened towards the Lord.  She is a bitter, bitter old woman.

Surprisingly, we slept late this morning to nearly 5:30AM - which has thrown me totally off for my morning quiet time.  I've skipped a few things that I like to do so that I could write in here. You could survive easily enough without my ramblings, I'm sure, but it does give you a dose of nonsense first thing in the morning, does it not?

At the end of working on my diamond art project last night I discovered that I messed up.  I thought I was working on 'P' and I had #8 beads to put on it.... and I was nearly done when I discovered the 'P' was #7.  I quit at that time. The colors are close and I'm debating just switching the two, but it's enough difference that I want to pull off all the 'P' that I covered and replace them.  #8 that I was using was for 'U'.  For you that don't know diamond art, it is very tedious and each 'spot' has a number or letter and you match the beads to the number to cover them.  My last project took me probably close to 15 hours to complete.  On the one I'm on now I spend about 2 hours a week focused on it.  I'm busy with other projects the other time.  Hubby has already started commenting on my taking over the entire table with my projects - what are we going to do about Thanksgiving?  Well, I love this case that my brother sent me a few years ago for Christmas.  It's for puzzles, but I am using it also for my diamond art projects.  Once I fold the top over and zip it, I can move it anywhere and the items - whether puzzles or diamond art projects - won't fall apart.  Grateful for his gift.  He is also the one who got me started in the diamond art projects with sending me a huge 'last supper' to work with.  My daughter is helping me do that one and we are perhaps 1/4 of the way on it.  It will cost to get it framed, but I shall get it framed and will hang it somewhere.  Framing isn't cheap I'm finding out!  

I Thessalonians 5:18 (NKJV):  In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

In everything - good and bad - we are to give thanks.  Why?  Because we cannot see the big picture nor the future, and God sees it all.  He knows when we will live life for Him, and when we walk away.  He waits for us to return to Him. My heart grieves greatly over my children and grandchildren who have chosen the world over Him.  I will never stop praying for each one.  Oh that their eyes would be opened to the One who loves them so much more than I ever could!  I thank Him for the privilege of being their mother, to being a part of their lives.  I thank Him for the struggle I have in my own life at times, not of turning from Him, but the anguish I feel when things don't go well.  I thank Him for my job.  I thank Him for providing for us.  I thank Him for His love for me.  I thank Him for answering my prayers.  I thank Him for NOT answering my prayers - for He is so much more smarter than I.  In all things, good and bad, thank Him.  He loves you - and me - so much that He will allow us to fail, to be hurt, to even get angry, to feel anxious - because in all that we SHOULD run back to Him and lean upon His breast and ask Him to help us.  He loves it when we seek Him first.  He will turn all things for our good. We may not always see the big picture and what that entails, but He does.

Where are you at this morning?  Are you angry or happy about the presidential election?  Did the one you wanted to win - win?  Did the people you wanted to win - win?  Did it even matter to you?  To tell you how critical that vote was - even the Amish people in Pennsylvania - who usually do not vote in elections - broke their own 'rules' and came out in massive numbers to vote.  And Utah, who is of the majority Mormon, was won by the person everyone wanted to hate.  God's hand was in it all the way.  

All glory to God.  And I would say not no matter who won.  Why?  Because I trust in God and I believe that He reigns and He turns all things out for our good.   God is still on His throne, regardless who won. Hallelujah!  My heart is so much lighter.  Unfortunately, now watch what the democrats will do with these next two months.  They want to tear the US down and become socialist.  Don't ever let them.  Let God rule in your minds, in your hearts, and in our nation.

Blessings!

Hubby actually said he was chilly!

Hubby brought my coffee in this morning and asked if I was warm enough last night. Yes, I was. Well, I guess he wasn't; he was cold and will need an extra quilt over him tonight.  O-K..... why didn't you get up and grab something to throw on top of the covers there already?  The quilt rack is right next to the bed.  But I get it. But I also get up and grab a blanket to throw on top of the covers if I wake up and am chilly. I don't need to tell somebody about it; I just do it.  I gave him a couple suggestions on what to put on top of his side of the bed.  Right now I'm fine.  Of course we still have the fan going as well for circulation of air. It does tend to make the room cooler.  I say all this as I sit bundled in a shawl over my shoulders and my blanket over my legs and most of my body.  I don't do cold.  I know I don't. And I get a cover to keep me from being cold.  Simple, right?

My oldest son made me smile last night as he contacted me about Thanksgiving dinner.  He is planning on bringing the majority of the dinner over to be prepared.  The turkey will arrive within a week or so. I'm not sure what else he'll bring at that time.  Don't remember.  But I am not needing to pick up much - although if you know me, there will be something. But the fun part is that I get to cook for him and his family. That is the part I enjoy.  We haven't had Thanksgiving dinner together for several years so I am looking forward to being with them.  And I'm looking forward to cooking!

I Timothy 2:1-2   (NKJV):  Therefore I exhort first of all that supplications, prayers, and giving of thanks be made for all men, for kings and for all who are in authority, that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and reverence.

Today is election day and we took our ballots to the post office a couple weeks ago.  I woke up a bit after 3AM this morning and began praying over how this day will end.  I'm somewhat scared, I'll admit.  The 'what if' the 'wrong person' (in my opinion) gets elected?  The lies that have been told by each party.  Lord, have mercy!  Sometimes you just need to ignore those going into the office and look at the policies they stand for.   My brother told me last night who he voted for.... and the reason he did, was that he didn't want boys in his granddaughter's restroom at school or while shopping.  And neither do I.  I cannot understand how these parents of little girls do not get it.  But my prayer is that God will choose MY way (of course), but that whoever is elected that it will be in God's will.  We are called to pray for our leaders - regardless who they are, for God has placed them in that position for a reason.  And some need more prayers than others.  Sigh.

My daughter will be coming over tonight to work on our diamond art projects.  I'm grateful she comes here rather than me drive there.  I'm planning on making split pea and ham soup today for us.  Making enough that I'll contact my youngest to see if he is interested in some.  I don't think my oldest son likes it.  Don't recall ever him asking for it and these two do.  And I have some ham I need to cut up before it goes bad.  Soup on a cool day is a good thing, right?   We have leftover chicken I cooked in the air fryer last night for lunch today.  Those chicken breasts were huge! About 8" long and 5" wide and 2" thick!  It was a BIG chicken.  Probably full of whatever they stuff them with.  Anyway - I only cooked one for dinner and we divided it - and we couldn't eat it all.  The other I went ahead and cooked so that we can munch on it today.  Win win.  Hubby can take it out of the refrigerator and eat for lunch. If he's hungry. He's meeting his friend for breakfast this morning.

I managed to get several meetings on the calendars yesterday, but still have a lot to catch up on what I should have done already.  By mid-afternoon yesterday I had slowed down somewhat and didn't get them all done.  My favorite boss sent me a message yesterday that my boss from the last company I was with died last Saturday.  She had a lung transplant last year.  She was a tough boss, but she was the one that hired me.  I worked under her until Sue was able to move me into the administrative role when the one she had left. Sad to hear, of course.  I don't think she was as old as me.  In fact, I'm finding out the most people are younger!!  LOL  I got a surprise birthday party invitation the other day and the friend is going to be 70.  I didn't realize I was that much older than her!  Although the time is 7-9PM next Saturday, I am going to go.  Because she is my friend and I haven't seen her in a few years, and because I love her.  Sometimes we just do it, right?  Because we want to.  Not looking forward going to an area I'm not familiar with, but I'll suck it up like a big girl, right?

The admins ThanksChristmas party is this week.  I'm still praying for a valid excuse. I was to make originally turkey, dressing, and giblet gravy, but I changed it to a 7 layer salad as I don't have time to pull all that together by 10AM and get downtown at 11AM to meet with 30 people of which 27 I do not know.  And you know how I feel about that.  Driving downtown is not my thing anymore. I don't know the majority of these people. I don't know where to park. I don't have access to the building and will have to call someone to get me, someone to take me to the right floor.... and unless one of them puts me on a major guilt trip today or tomorrow, I'm not planning on going.  I have too much going on with work to take 4 hours out of my day to be somewhere I don't want to be.  These admins work together in this building so they know each other.  I do not know them except a few by name.  UGH. Still trying to convince myself it is ok not to go beyond my 'don't want to'.  Am I being anti-social?  If it was in Mesa - which is much further to drive... I would go.  I just don't want to go to corporate downtown. Oh what should I do!  Lord, help! Give me a valid excuse!

I think my great-grandchildren are going to make out like a bandit this Christmas.  Sigh.  I look at the gifts on the floor here and the majority is for them.  And I told myself yesterday - I don't care.  I don't care how much I spend. I will buy whatever I feel like buying for whomever. I'm not going to worry about the cost; I'm spending their inheritance anyway, right?  I don't plan to buy a lot, don't get me wrong.  But I want to buy meaningful gifts and sometimes that means doing a bit more. There is nothing I need, nor hubby needs.  But I love to give to others.  Hubby has nagged at me so much for a Christmas list that I finally started writing things down on the board in the laundry room. I told him if anyone asks, he can read from that board.  So I ask him what he wants - and I get the 'there is nothing I need' - just like I give him!  But I know he has grumbled this past month about 'needing' a flashlight.  Now he has this one about 18" long and heavy that doesn't work anymore but he keeps by the bed to beat anyone up who breaks in with.  He has mentioned we need a couple flashlights, heavy ones, that are available wherever he wants them to be.  Whatever.  So I'm throwing that out there for anyone who's needing an idea. That would make him happy.  I was looking at them on Amazon last night and threw a couple in my saved folder.  Decided one of the kids can get it for him and make him happy.  If not, then I'll get it after Christmas.  I don't think it even matters how many flashlights he gets - lol - all of a sudden he has this idea we need flashlights.  I didn't tell him that I found one in a drawer that still works.  LOL  But I get it.  What if the power goes out?  Heaven forbid we couldn't find our way around this small place!

And with all this - I'm off here.  Got a bit more reading to do this morning and then it's time for work.  Want to get a shower in before work as well.  Still checking out the castor oil remedies. Maybe I'll list some soon.  Interesting.  

Blessings!

Wishing today was an off day

 I woke up with a lot of flim in my throat and I have been sneezing this morning.  Sure am hoping that I am not coming down with a cold. But then, if I am, I have my excuse to not go on Thursday, right?  I'm not that desperate not to go.  But I will admit, I did ask God to help me get out of it.  We were out in the chilly wet air a little bit last night as we had dinner at a friend's house and didn't get home until about 7:30-ish. We had a nice time and had lasagna and salad.  I was comfortable.  The only problem with going to someone else's to eat, you don't eat as much as you want (as a rule), right?  Unless you are with family or with close friends.  This couple are close friends, but they are very light eaters, and the other 5 couples that were there we have only met a time or two.  Not surprisingly, hubby was the only one who ate the most. And I'll leave that here.

I realized last Friday that I had not extended meetings into 2025 like I should have done a month ago.  I was busy doing that Friday afternoon, but didn't get it all done. That will need to be my focus this morning as calendars fill up really quick. At least I don't have to look for time. What I will do is create a new invite for the same day and time and just send it out.  I am hoping to get them all done today.  It will be a busy day, for sure.

I didn't do a whole lot yesterday.  I did go to the grocery store and spent way too much money.  Costs even on food is getting outrageous - but I will admit I did buy some things that I probably didn't need to (candy for the dish), and egg nog.  Sorry, not sorry.  I like the taste of egg nog.  I only buy it one or two times throughout this season.  I also bought two cases of jars - one pint and one quart.  I've given all the grandchildren a tea towel with my salsa recipe on it so that they can make it on their own.  I haven't heard of anyone doing it.  Their comment to me when a couple have asked for salsa for Christmas and I remind them they have that recipe.... "but Grandma, it won't taste as good as yours."  Yeah, I'm a sucker for my grandchildren's requests.  But, no quarts this year; only doing pints.  At least my salsa is something they will remember when I'm gone.  And some will remember my bread n butter pickles.  Things like that make me smile.  

I can't remember what all I've given to the children on tea towels.  I think it is Tennessee Cornbread Dressing, Giblet Gravy, Salsa, and my bread and butter pickles - is that right?  Someone needs to remind me.  Those towels aren't cheap and I hope they take care of them and use them for the recipes on them. I still think it is a neat gift to pass on of special recipes.  They will always know it is in the dish towel drawer.  LOL  (If there is a recipe wanted, please let me know)

No wonder I'm chilly this morning.....my computer says it is 49 degrees outside!  Hubby is loving this weather. I'm loving that I can wear a sweater and hide some of this fat belly.  Just kidding!  I wear a hoodie or a flannel shirt.  lol

I was reading in the One Minute Prayer Warrior by Charles Rhodus this morning on the subject of 'rebuke'.  I looked up scriptures about rebuke.  Here is only one of them.

Mark 1:25 KJV And Jesus rebuked him, saying, Hold thy peace, and come out of him.

I think that when we hear the word 'rebuke' we often think of Jesus rebuking the devil/demons to come out of those that had mental illness, the deaf and those unable to talk.  And that is true, He did.  But do you also realize that He gave you the authority, as a Christ-follower, to be able to rebuke demons? So, is it ok to rebuke people when they say or do something that is un-Christ-like?  Absolutely!

I've had someone turn on me and say things that were not only not true but were mean.  I remember that without even thinking about it I responded to them with "Get thee behind me, Satan"!  Trust me, it stopped the barrage of words and they turned and licked their wounds!  That was many years ago and I don't even remember what it was about. I just remember being as surprised as they were!  Jesus has given us the authority to tell the devil where to go.  The devil knows where he is going... but he will do all the dirty work he can in our lives until he is cast down into the abyss.  

I've even had to rebuke the devil in my thoughts.  What I mean is, sometimes I (we) listen to the devil telling us to do things, or to feel things, or to say things - and sometimes we have to tell the devil to get out of our mind, get out of body.  We may feel justified in saying things (and we all do at that time) that are not Christ-like to someone, for we are frustrated or angry at them (or at someone else and take it out on them) - or doing things - and yet, when we do it, we know immediately that we shouldn't have done it or said it. Right? I think it has happened to all of us at one time or another.  We intentionally hurt someone because we don't like their behavior.  But what we are doing is actually showing them how low we can go.  Does that make sense?  I always try to tell myself (and others when they are sharing), don't bring myself down to their level - take the high road and keep my mouth shut. Don't do the thing that I know they will notice and know I did it, but take the high road and show myself above all that petty stuff.  I think I am all over the place with this paragraph, but you can figure it out.  I think.

When you want to do something that is not Christ-like, or honest or lifting someone up - keep your mouth shut.  Don't do it.  Tell the devil to go away and leave you alone.  You may not like that person, but Jesus died for them just as He died for you.  He loves them just like He loves you.  Sometimes that is a hard thing to accept.  I know that personally.  You constantly have to ask yourself, even in your anger or frustration, is what I am going to say or do something that Jesus would do?   If it isn't, and I will admit I have found myself in this predicament a time or two.... or more... I say it anyway and then regret it later and have to apologize.  Do you know how hard it is to apologize when you know you are right but you also know that you were wrong in saying it?

Walk through your home and tell the devil to leave, that he has no authority in your home.  Ask Jesus to come into your home and dwell there.  You will find that the atmosphere will change.  You will feel it.  Seriously!!  The devil has no place in your home but to steal, kill, and destroy relationships with your spouse, with your family.  Don't let him.  Use your authority to rebuke him and tell him to get out!

James 4:7 (NKJV):  Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

I had a run in with one of his demons one time.  I may have shared it before.  And, at the time, I didn't know what was going on.  I had stayed home from church with a migraine headache.  The house was quiet, I was lying in bed.  All of a sudden I felt intense pressure on my body and chest, and something on my neck, squeezing my throat.  I started trying to move, but I was pinned down.  All I could think of was cry out "Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!" - and the pressure lifted - and he pinched me as he left!  

The name of Jesus is powerful, I'm telling you!  I frequently go through my house and (especially when there has been frustration, sickness, or disagreements in the house) tell the devil to leave, and anoint the doors and windows and pray for peace and love within.  It does work!  You have to have faith to believe it.  When was the last time you told the devil to leave your home, that he has no invitation or welcome there?  If you believe it - do it!  You will feel the atmosphere change.  Give God the glory, for He has given you as His child, the authority to cast out the things not of Him.

Be all that God has called you to be.  Resist the devil, and he will flee from you and from your household.  Jesus loves you.  More than you could ever imagine.  

Blessings!

Sunday ramblings

 I did go to Needles of Hope yesterday at the Panera Restaurant.  Disappointed?  You betch cha!  About what?  We had to wait 1-1/2 hours - yes 1.5 hours - for dark road and light roast coffee.  I am not kidding.  I ordered an asiago bagel and coffee.  Only there was no coffee.  The bagel I got was only about 3" wide. Smallest bagel I have ever bought without intentionally buying the little bagels.  But the disappointing part was no coffee.  I finally got 1/2 cup of decaf - and even though I can't always tell the difference, I couldn't even drink that.  I left early as we had one woman who has joined that would not shut up. Talked constantly.  But I did learn something.  Go to You Tube and learn about castor oil.  And it wasn't just this woman, my friend Lori always was sharing how she rubs castor oil on her body - her recent surgery on her hand is nearly healed and her fingers are now straight - and it hasn't been that long.  Castor oil should not be taken internally (someone should have told me that when I was pg with my firstborn. sigh).  But if you rub it on arthritic spots and areas that need healing - will take away pain.  They even talked about - and I checked amazon and it's there - a liver pad - which is a pad you add castor oil to and wear it over the area where the liver is - and it has been reported it healed the liver.  All I can say is that it is worth a try, right? And, yes, I did order the Queen of the something organic castor oil Unrefined - from Amazon.  I don't really have aches and pains - except after working out - but it could help my fingers I imagine. It even removes toe nail fungus.  It works slow as it is a natural oil, but it removes it.  Something to check out. I haven't watched the You Tube video yet, but my friend, Lori, uses it and also another friend who is a health proponent.  AND, it is supposed to help hair thicken and grow when you rub in your hair. It all sounds interesting, and I want to watch more of the video.  Might be worth checking out if you have arthritic knees and shoulders.  Mine should arrive today from Amazon.  My friend says she uses it like body lotion.   Since I am getting 'old age' spots on my face, will try on it to see if will remove them. It will take time, of course, but hey - I'm willing to try!

After Needles, I went shopping. O.My.Goodness. You would have thought it was the day after Thanksgiving!  Parking lots were full and the stores were crowded.  And you know I don't like crowds.  But I pressed on and went to Barnes and Noble to get a cookbook I was wanting -and remembered they don't have the 'sale' books at this location (Arrowhead).  I should have gone to the B&N down at Metro. That might be a place to go today to get out of the house.  I did buy a book for a great granddaughter. From there on to Hobby Lobby.  I bought material and batting to make two baby quilts for our new great grands that will arrive next year.  I also got some Christmas gifts and a few other things.  Getting through the lanes wasn't bad - only had to wait in line maybe three minutes.  I think they had them all open and moving people through.  

There was a time change within our nation today. There is a time change - and hallelujah we don't have to change!!  But Indiana does and that means we are now two hours apart. In Georgia, Jentezen is now on at 7 and 9AM.  I'm listening to the 7AM service.   I love my Sunday mornings at home (thanks to COVID) and watching church. I still get involved - I still sing, I still take notes, I still am part of the service. I just don't have to put on makeup and dressy clothes.  Well, starting next Sunday I will be dressing up and heading out the door before 9AM as I speak at the RV park.  I did finish the rough draft yesterday afternoon and will spend today and this week going through it and making my changes, enlarging the print, double spacing, etc.  I have a title and scripture to pass on to the lay leader when they call me either today or tomorrow. They work on the bulletins on Tuesday mornings so always need it before then.  It will be good to see everyone.

I had a chat with my oldest son yesterday and he and some of his family will be coming to Thanksgiving at our house this year.  I am excited as I to get to spend time with him and his family. And the icing on the cake is that I get to cook for them!  And even better than that - he said he would bring his dessert he is so good at making.  Always reminds me of his beloved grandmother on his dad's side.  Grandma used to make it.  She also always made the potato candy at Christmas time. I can't think of the name of it now. I need to do some research online and see if I can make it. I never have made it - but I certainly ate enough of it when I spent time with them.  I wish I had gotten her to write down these favorite recipes for me.

Romans 13:1 (NKJV):  Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God.

Wow  - Jentezen is talking about voting this coming Tuesday.  Neither candidate is qualified for the highest office in the land.  But we must vote the Bible and vote for babies to live; for marriages to be between a man and a woman; that Israel will be lifted up.  Two things are always on God's mind always - the real church, and Israel. The nations that stand with Israel will be blessed, and those that turn against Israel will be destroyed.  Watch and see.  We must support Israel. We must save these babies. We must stand for the truth in marriages.  Lord, help us!  I have been praying for the election, but how I pray is not for a specific leader, but that God will be in the election, that whoever He chooses to lead this nation will be for His glory.  He will also show us how soon this world will come to an end.   Jentezen is asking us to fast all day on Monday - from sun up to sun down and pray for this election, that God's will be done.  LOL  Jentezen just said that if you don't vote, he hopes you get the fleas of a thousand camels; that you will have three flat tires.  VOTE!  Vote for what is right.  Do I like what either candidate has put out?  Absolutely not.  I don't like the name calling, I don't like the things that have been said.  I also don't like hearing a candidate say when someone yelled out "Jesus is Lord" only to be told "You are at the wrong rally".  Seriously?  My Jesus is everywhere!!  I voted early. And I have been praying that God will allow this nation to have good and not bad.  This election will mark how we will go as a nation.  The end is near.  Read Luke 21 - about the 20th verse. It talks about what happens with Israel is surrounded by desolation.  And what is going on with Isreal now.  The end is near.

Are you ready for what the future entails?  A lot will depend on who wins the election. I am sure that if the republicans win, the democrats and independents will begin their destruction in the cities and all their marches as happened 8 years ago.  It came out these people are paid to riot and burn and destroy things.  Shame on them.  If the democrats win, there won't be riots and destruction.  At least there hasn't been in the past, let me put it that way.  If you read history, and really get into it, well, I won't go there. I only know hearsay, but the democrats in office are not good people.  Not all democrats are bad. I don't mean that. They don't know the history of that party.  Do your research before you support a party. Do your research before you vote for a candidate.  Don't just listen to what is said; look at what they stand for.  What are the policies they are promoting.  Do they want to give women 'permission' to kill their babies when God says He is the One who brings life?  They could be killing the next president; because it may be 'inconvenient' for them to have a baby now.  Oh don't get me started.  I would adopt every baby that wasn't wanted.  I would love it and take care of it.  And I know many others who would love to have a baby.  Don't kill them. What God gives us, don't kill.  The devil only wants to steal, kill, and destroy.  And he is doing a good job of destroying this nation that was built on the foundation of the Bible.  Ok - enough about elections.  I'm not telling you who to vote for. I'm telling you to be careful, for God sees who you vote for and He will punish those who go against His Word.  

I know my children and grandchildren have their own opinions.  And I respect that.  They should think for themselves.  It's like becoming a child of God.  It is their decision to follow Jesus - or walk away from Him.  When they walk away, I fear for them.  I have some grandchildren and children who have walked away from God and it breaks my heart and I have to pray harder for them because I fear for them.  They may party and think they have such a successful life now... but in a moment, it can all be taken away. Then who will they fall back on?  The devil?  Only God can help them.  We can see what not following Jesus can do. This nation is a mess.  I fear for this nation's future, and I hope Jesus has taken me Home before the end comes.  I fear for my great-grandchildren who do not know Jesus. 

I have started fasting one meal a week for each of my children and their children.  It isn't the same day, the same meal.  But I have determined in my heart to stand in the gap for my children and my grandchildren and pray for each one by name.  I may not see it happen in my lifetime, but I will bring my children, my grandchildren, and my great-grandchildren and on down the line, in front of my Father and seek their salvation.  Jesus IS the only way.

Are you praying for your children?  For your spouse?  It's more than just saying that they are a good person and do good for others. Anyone can do good for others.  Being good doesn't save you. Doing good doesn't make you a Christian.  Being a Christ-follower is the only way to get to heaven.

Do I fail at times?  Yes.  But I run back to Him and know that I receive His forgiveness and He will hear me and remove my sins as far as the east is from the west - and He will remember my sins no more.  I choose to consecrate myself unto Him, for He is the only way to heaven.  I pray you choose Jesus.

Blessings!

Lunch and permission

 I drove across town yesterday to meet my favorite boss and my doctor friend for lunch - only the doctor friend didn't show up.  Sue, my boss, and I were disappointed, but we had a great lunch @ Lucille's BBQ. We waited about 20 minutes then I emailed him.  Bless his heart, after we exchanged a few emails, he said his memory isn't so good anymore, and his calendar failed him.  He was sad he didn't get to see us and missed us.  This doctor's wife died in her sleep about 3 years ago, and I'm sure he is lonely.  I love this man; when we worked together, he always had time to talk with me.  I am fearful that he may not be able to make it, but I told him we will plan again in January to meet up.  I always have him 'young' in my mind, as when we worked together.  But I figure he has to be in his late 80's now.  I hope we can meet up in January.

It was a nice visit with Sue, and we were able to catch up on a lot of things.  She is not only my favorite boss, but I consider her also a very close friend.  I can tell her anything, and she me, and know I won't be judged.  Ironically, her husband retired years ago and he takes care of the house and cars (literally) while she works.  We have that in common, plus, her husband is having a biopsy of his prostate on Tuesday this week.  So there is that as well.  She did mention that she may be retiring in 2026 or late 2025.  They have completely remodeled their beautiful home, new appliances, new counters/cabinets, and new floors, new bathrooms - and they pay cash for it all.  They got out of debt years ago doing the Dave Ramsey method.   Her husband saves them lots of money by doing things himself, rather than hiring someone, but the remodel needed someone with knowledge of what they were doing. They are good people and willing to help anyone.  She has walked me through many trials and struggles these past 30+ years.  

I brought my leftovers from lunch home, which hubby quickly devoured.  When I got off work, he said that he wasn't hungry - and I wasn't that much - so we both just snacked instead of me trying to find something to fix for dinner.  I crochet'd and we watched 3 movies on Up Faith and Family.  He slept through some of the last one, but it was getting late, for us.  'Slept in' until about 5AM or so this morning. Would have loved just laying in bed, but once I'm awake, I have to get up. That was our boring evening.  But I did get a lot done on my project. And that's a good thing.

I did talk with my boss about this upcoming Thursday Thanks/Christmas party the top executive assistant of our division is pulling together.  I have struggled from the very beginning, as I think I have mentioned in here.  I don't want to go. It's downtown.  I've tried to think of excuses/reasons why, and I don't have a real one. AND, they 'assigned' me turkey, dressing, and giblet gravy to make and take.  Yes, I agreed when they asked, cause I was going to make myself go.  But the more I have thought about it, the more of a struggle I am having.  So I talked with my boss yesterday. She said I didn't have to go.  And, if I need a project or something that was critical to keep me from going, she would give me something.  But I told her that it would fall back on her, so it's better I just let God orchestrate a reason for me not to go.  And the only reason is I would have to drive downtown. I've been there 3 times, perhaps; never driving myself. I don't have clearance to take the elevator as this building has tight security and each floor has its own badge code. I don't even have clearance to park in the parking lot! I don't know my way around on any of the floors.  I think the company is on the sixth floor.  I just don't want to go.  And now that I have permission that I don't have to, I'm praying that nothing bad happens, but that there will be an adequate reason why I can't go.  I did go in to the list and changed the turkey, dressing, and giblet gravy to a 7 layer salad.  If I get questioned about it, I will tell them that it was just too much work to do and get downtown by 11AM plus continue to work cause I am not taking a day off for this! . I can make the salad the night before.  And I will make one; just in case I feel guilty at no real reason not to go.  And the 'funny' part?  If it was in my former location, I would go.  In fact, in December, I will be making three trips down there, I think.  One a town hall, one a division Christmas potluck, and one a department party.  But I'm comfortable with that drive and location.  That stress has been somewhat relieved.  I have a white elephant gift and my Christmas socks too.  

Today is the first Saturday of the month so I have Needles of Hope this morning.  And I'm thinking a little about not going - although I need to, just to get out of the house and be with friends.  I don't talk much there either, but I can get good coffee and a breakfast sandwich at Panera @ Metro as that is where we meet at now.  The good coffee is worth it, as is being with people who love and accept me as I am. I need to figure out what to take to work on. Maybe just a new skein of yarn and start a new blanket.  I need to figure out what blankets I want to take to donate too. I have a stack, but some that I really like I keep for future generations in my family.  My mother had given me 3 baby blankets she had made to give to my grandchildren and great-grandchildren.  I've given them all away so now I'm making and they will eventually go to each of my children to pass on to their grandchildren or great grandchildren when I can no longer make them.  

It makes me think of the little t-shirts that I passed on to my children.  I can't remember if I had two or three of them.  But the little wrap around t-shirts were worn by their grandfather, their father, and they also wore them home from the hospital.  Yeah, we women tend to hang on to some things and pass them down the line.  I know my oldest son wore it home and got one, and I know my daughter wore it home from the hospital and I think she got it.  I don't know if either have managed to save it and will pass it on down their family line. I can't worry about it.  Traditions and sentiment doesn't go down the line very far.  Things that I have treasured and saved for years - will be trashed once I'm gone.  And that's why I write in here about some things.  So that you will know there is a story about them.

Maybe I need to start thinking of specific things and sharing my thoughts and feelings about them. Some are just 'things', and barely need mentioning.  But, specific things I may need to let people know why I have them, or why I have kept them all these years.  I have quilts my grandmother made by hand from her aprons and my grandfather's shirts.  I have quilts my mother made.  I think I have passed afghans my mother made to each of my children. If one doesn't have it, I do have one that they can have. It's up in the closet.  Reminds me I have one quilt that I received from mother's stash after she died. Because I can sew, I got the one that needed repaired.  But it is still out in the garage, and I still haven't repaired it. I probably should repair it so that it doesn't get thrown away.  I have a punch bowl that my mother made out of ceramics.  It's out in the garage gathering dust.  I don't really entertain anymore.  And now I'm rambling.

Isaiah 55:8 (NKJV):  "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways", says the Lord.

Thoughts.  I have plenty of them, don't I?  And sometimes, like today, all I have done is ramble on about different things. Does any mean anything? I guess it does; it is the sharing of my life and who I am, I am guessing.  This blog is also a biography of my life, wouldn't you say?  Not many books have that - where you can follow along over the years and know what one thought about one thing or another.  I know that my thoughts are futile; God's thoughts are always better than mine.  I just wish I would sit still long enough that I would hear His voice.  I have heard God speak to me. And it was always words of love.  I'm sure I've forgotten many times, and I'm sure I've written them in here at one time or another. I love it when God speaks His thoughts to me, for they are always so much better than mine.  When was the last time you heard Him speak to you?  He does it in different ways.  Are you listening? Are you paying attention?  Lord, forgive us for letting the world distract us from You.

One of my granddaughters may come over today and help me learn how to make bread from a starter.  It's a mixture of flour and water and I think yeast, that ferments and over time you can make sourdough bread and other things with it.  I have recipes to make bread, but not from a starter.  I want to make breads for Christmas gifts.  I know, when do I have time for new projects! Oh how I wish I had more time to devote to things I enjoy!  But even more than baking the breads, I get to spend time with this granddaughter and be a part of her life.  That is priceless.

I've rambled on enough this morning. Need to finish up here and get ready to head out the door for Needles of Hope.  I may even put makeup on. LOL I'm one of 'those' people who don't care whether I have makeup on or not.  My sister says she won't even go to her mailbox without fixing her hair and putting makeup on.  LOL Me, I don't care. Makeup doesn't really change how I look that much, but it does cover up the old age spots that seem to be popping out on my face!  THOSE make me feel old!  LOL  Lord, please give me strength to get through today.  I feel weary and worn.

And with that - I pray that you have a blessed day; one that is filled with love and joy and warm memories. 

Blessings!

I sometimes get in trouble

 Believe it or not, I do.  And why do I get 'in trouble'? Because I'm not talking.  Silly, isn't it!  But, here at home I usually do not talk a lot - unless we have company, anyway.  I was working on the quilt some last night, and some crocheting, when hubby got on my case about how I can I sit there for 'hours' (it may have been two hours) and not say a word?!  Well, I'm lost in my thoughts; focused on the task I have in my hand. Plus, we have nothing in common.  What's to talk about?  This isn't the first time we have had this conversation.  Sigh. And it's always me.  I finally told him that I 'don't have a life' out side of work.  Well, what did I mean by that?  So I struggled to explain.  My life is wrapped up pretty much within these four walls and my computer.  He gets out in the world and meets up with people.  

So he throws back at me that I also get to have lunch with people.  And that's true.  Although few and far between, I am having lunch in Tempe today with my boss and a doctor friend.  And I'm looking forward to it.  I haven't seen this doctor for a couple years and he and I have a special friendship from years ago when I worked at Mercy Care.  And, of course, my favorite boss I have mentioned frequently.  I made more cranberry nut pumpkin bread last night and am taking each a loaf today. If I don't forget them.

But - back to the comments.... if he asks questions, I answer them. But beyond that, we really don't have much to talk about since I face a computer all day.  It's not the same as when I went into the office and worked every day.  I interacted with people there - and I feel I had much more energy than I do now.  I border a lot on depression now, I feel.  I'm smothered between hubby monitoring me and my job keeping me glued to the computer and to this room.  I've thrown out retirement a couple times and get ignored.  I did tell hubby that if I had to still drive the distance that I had to before, I would be retiring for I don't think I have the skills to be in the traffic we have nowadays all the time.  Plus I'd get so sleepy some times on the way home I barely could stay awake.  Two hour drive homes just isn't for me.  But one I took for granted when I had to do it.  I enjoy working from home, don't get me wrong, but if the office was closer, and my favorite boss was there on occasion, I would be driving in to the office frequently and working and having a life.  I miss having a life. 

One more week and my speaking engagements start; I think I have mentioned that before.  I've got about halfway through this first one and need to finish it this weekend.  I have 3 in December so I need to get busy on those right away as well.  I thrive on this, though.  And they do pay me to speak, so that is extra money and a good thing. And we have friends in both places; moreso this one in town than up north.  One couple is already in town that we hang out with - he speaks on this Sunday so I know he's here.  I've got next Sunday.

I had to get after hubby last night - although I truly understand what he was feeling.  We noticed it about the same time.   His granddaughter who got married a few years ago (we did not receive a wedding invitation, but I made her an afghan and we sent books she wanted AND money - and received no acknowledgement), and posted on facebook was pregnancy photos of her and her hubby holding ultrasound photos.  Beautiful photos. They make a beautiful couple.  As I walked from this room through the front room, hubby starts to say something, and I read his mind and told him that I saw it too.  He said he had written something.  I froze.  What did you write, I asked.  

I get it, I really do.  It's painful to want to be a part of your children and grandchildren's lives and they don't want anything to do with you.  And no explanation is given.  Sigh. He told me roughly what he had written.... in the sarcastic and shaming tone he can have, that how is it they let the great-grandparents know via facebook they are having a baby (that's how we found out about the wedding!) and he hasn't heard from them in years, etc. etc..... and I froze.  I made him look it up, and asked him to delete it.  I asked him how could he write something so sarcastic when all the other posts say 'congratulations'!  I told him, that if he needed to say something, to just say congratulations and let it go.  sigh. erase erase. you don't need to know what I was saying.  Anything else could be said in a private note.  They have nothing to do with us, none of his girls.  And I've said enough.   He does love my children and grandchildren (and greats), but it's like he doesn't know how to show it. 

I often sit here and wonder why I write so much of my life in here.  For one thing, I believe it helps me 'get it out' and 'let it go'.  I could never express all the pain I feel at times; many things I cannot write about.  I wanted this blog to be a positive thing with uplifting scriptures and stories.  Instead, it has become a diary of my life.  Maybe I should just stop posting and just save to a folder.  But then, if I did that, how would my son ever know what is going on in my life?  I probably share more things in here than I share with anyone else. This is a place where I bare my soul at times. My pain I can't always share.... I don't ever want to hurt anyone.  Many things I cannot write about.  I'm a broken person in my soul.  I never thought my life would end up this way.  I always had the 'dream' of love and happiness and doing things together with family.  Instead... I have what I have.  

And inside I have died.  I seem to only come to life when I'm with my children or grandchidlren - when they let me get close to them.  I have two granddaughters who do keep in touch and they have no idea how much I love that.  One has written me notes and I have treasured each one.  They have no idea how much I miss them and love them.  How much I want to be a part of their lives, even though they have their own lives now.  And I let them be. I don't need to hovering over them.  I'm so proud of the mothers they have become.  Of the women they have become. And I pray and thank God for them.

Ah... I'm getting mellow, aren't I?  I need to get off.... tears of longing to see them have started and I need to get on the work computer.  It will be a short day - cause I need to clean up today and actually put makeup on and do my hair! Plan to leave about 10AM - allow myself plenty of time to drive.  It's only about 40 minutes, but still.  It will be a good day.

Psalm 56:8 (NKJV):  You number my wanderings; put my tears in Your bottle; are they not in Your book?

My advice to you?  Stay in touch with those you love, even when they don't respond.  Let them know that you will always be there for them.  No matter what.  Let them know they are loved; tell them so. When my one son texts or calls me and says 'love you Mom' - it means the world to me.  Treasure the time you have with each one; make it count.

Blessings!

It's getting chilly in the mornings!

 I know some people who love the early morning 'cold' - ok, not 'cold', but chilly - morning air.  Me, I'm curled up on my chair with my blanket across my legs and body and a shawl over my shoulders!  But I have to let my arms out so that I can type!  I should be warm enough by now, but, not yet.  Just should be. In the summer months we dream of these cooler mornings.  It won't be long that hubby will start sitting outside once it gets daylight and go through his phone as he has in years past.  I admit, sitting out front in the cool air is nice.  Get a 2nd cup of coffee and just sit.  Only hubby likes to talk when I'm out there. And of course, with work, I can't just go and sit like he does.  Some day, perhaps, but I don't see it in the immediate future.

Hubby, once again, was asking questions last night that I know he knows (or knew) the answers to and yet, he asked.  It disturbs me and I often think it is 'just me' because I'm so conscious of it with being with him all the time. I started working on a quilt last night. I had my hoop out and the material already put together with the batting.  I started to sew where I wanted by hand.  He didn't remember me making quilts before.  And if you are family, you know there was a few years that's all I made for family - I think everyone in the family has either a baby quilt or a twin or a king size quilt that I have hand-stitched for them.  Then he started questioning about my hands hurting - he must have at least remembered that part.  I only did a few rows last night for the very reason - the arthritis in my fingers starts flaring up and I want to be careful.  So after a few rows, I started crocheting again.  It's going to be a busy time before Christmas!

Morgan worked my butt off last night (literally, I wish) (leg night) and I decided I didn't want to cook. Which hubby doesn't mind cause I usually pay if we go somewhere.  They have a couple places around the gym to eat.  We hadn't eaten at a couple of them and last night I decided to try Kneaders.  It's a bakery and cafe.  I got a half turkey bacon avocado salad which was delicious - and couldn't eat it all. But most of it. I do love my salad.  Hubby got the turkey bacon avocado sandwich - which was huge!  The bread was 'homemade' and each slice was about an inch thick. He said it was really good - and ate the entire thing.  Prices were good (1/2 salad 8.69; sandwich 11.29 I think).  But guess what else they had!!  

I have been craving a good chocolate brownie for a couple weeks now.  I would look at the stores at them and tell myself 'no', because they just didn't look like what I wanted.  Well, they had 3 different kinds of brownies at Kneaders - and yes, I gave in.  A double fudge brownie.  $3.49 I think it was for one piece.  I didn't care.  I saw it. I wanted it. I got it. ....... and I ate it.  I did share one bite with hubby. But I ate the rest. And it was just what I had been craving.  Not too sweet to where you couldn't eat it. But oh so good.  We will go back there to eat - total wasn't bad at all and it's clean and the people are friendly.  And I will get another brownie when I crave them again.  Best brownie I have tasted in a long time. 

I have needles of hope this Saturday and I'm wondering how I can fit it in with all I am putting on myself to get done before Christmas.  But, I will go, and I will enjoy visiting with friends.  Glad I started another crochet project so I have something to take. I don't want to drag the quilt out - too much material! I'm glad I'm starting early on it.  In fact, I have material set aside to make a king quilt for my boss. I've bought material before but never did anything with it so gave to a granddaughter who made tote bags out of it.  But I've bought more.  Everyone needs a Christmas quilt, right?   I have sewing and baking and crocheting on my calendar as well as preparing to speak at the RV parks over the next two months.  It will be a busy time!

Psalm 100:4-5  (NKJV):  Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name. For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, and His truth endures to all generations.

How many times a day do you pause to thank God for who He is?  For Him providing all that you have? So many people don't give Him a thought in that 24 hours.  And that is sad.  Why? Because all that they have comes from His hand!  He loves us all - whether we follow Him or not - so much that He gave up His only Son, Jesus Christ, to die on a horrible cross, for you and for me.   Think about your children.  Do you love someone enough that you would give up one of your children for them?  I'm sorry, but I don't.  My children were given to me, on loan from God, but still, they were given to me.  I will NOT sacrifice any of my children for anyone else.  God doesn't ask us to sacrifice OUR children; He gave His Son, Jesus Christ, once and for all.  

And why? Because He loves us so much.  All our sins - those of the past and those we will make in the future - were taken and nailed to the cross on Jesus.  Jesus gave the ultimate sacrifice - His life, for yours.  How could we not pause in our day and just tell Him 'Thank You' for loving us that much?  

In all things, give praise.  In the good stuff, and in the bad stuff, praise Him.  A friend of mine told me that when her mother passed a few years ago, her last words were "Praise Jesus".  I want to leave this world praising Jesus!  That has spoken to my heart and that is my wish - to praise Jesus as I run to Him in my new life.  But we can also be praising Him now.  Let's take a moment, shall we?  What are you thankful for?  Let's give Him praise!

Blessings!