A Phone Call....

 can usually change a lot of things.  This phone call, that I received last evening, won't change a lot, but it will change some things.  With work.  My one boss, whom I complain about sometimes because she makes me learn and work... well, my favorite boss does too, but that's different.  Anyway, Mary, my 'big' boss as in top of our organization called.  What was the message after we chatted for a bit?  "I'm going to retire in June".  What wonderful news to hear!  Mary recently lost her mother and she and her husband had driven back to Wisconsin to go through things with her siblings and probably spent time talking about how fast life is going by.  They drove, so spent lots of time together in the car.  

And he adores her.  Seriously.  I text'd him when they got back and asked how the trip went.  His comment?  "Trip back was uneventful, just what we needed.  A couple of long days but when you're with your love it is cherished time."   How many men - or women - could say that?

Mary explained that her husband is now 66 (she is 60) and they want to do things together, and travel.  They want to make memories together.  They want to enjoy life together.  Life has become precious to them and they want to spend it with each other.

I am so happy for her, I really am.  I wish I had that relationship with my hubby, I really do.  But we don't. Can it be cultivated?  Only by the grace of God.  One Christian counselor used a word for our marriage, but I can't remember exactly what it was now.  It's a long story, and not important to think about right now.  Back to my boss.

I shared the news with hubby last night.  His comment - and non-comment - was interesting.  He asked "How will this affect you?"   What I would have loved to hear was 'maybe we can work on you retiring this year'.  But his question was "How will this affect you?"   And to answer his question, it will mean I will have a new boss that I will have to learn their ways and skills and I will have to do more work than I do now.  Seriously.  

Oh well.  This is my life and I do what I have to do.  My opinion?  Hubby doesn't want me to quit work because he would have to give up some of his 'extra' things (like going out to breakfast) with his friends.  We would have to reign in some activities.  It has driven him crazy that I am home all the time right now because of work.  I stay pretty much in the bedroom, rarely coming out.  Yet, I know what he does all day.   If I wasn't working, I wouldn't be staying in my room all day.

And I would be bored out of my mind, I think!  I would have to find things to do.  I already crochet most every night.  When hubby has the TV on, well, I've signed up for audible and downloaded a few books and I've started listening to them on a headset while the TV is on.  I can crochet and listen.  At least it is learning something and being productive!  If he leaves the TV off, I can actually pick up a book or my kindle and READ a book.  I've done both this week.

I don't know when I can retire...I feel hubby will fight me on it.  His freedom to continue as he has will be reigned in some to cut back on spending.  I'm more prudent than he is.  We would not be able to go anywhere or do much of anything if I wasn't working.  I made sure when we bought this place that if either of us should die, the other can keep this place on their own social security.  It wouldn't have to be sold immediately.  We never know what that could happen.  We are both healthy so it could be several years yet.  So, I guess I keep working until they tell me I just can't keep up.  It's a struggle right now sometimes for me to understand new technology - because I just don't want to learn it.  

I am driving down to the Mesa office today to meet one of the directors and hand off some equipment I have boxed up.  Which means I'll lose about 3 hours of my day and I'm ok with that.  I will be FREE because hubby is now leaving for his Bible study (6:20AM) which starts at 8AM, and I'm leaving at 10-10:30AM and he may not be home yet and won't ask to go with me.  It will be just a turnaround trip for me.  Get there, find the equipment, wait for the director, hand it off, get my things - and head back out the door and hit the road again.  I've already told both bosses I won't be back online until afternoon.  They are ok with it.  Unfortunately, I lose a 1/4 tank of gas doing that trip!  Well, it's all highway driving so it isn't bad.  

So I don't see retirement in my future just yet.  It doesn't really matter.  I would lose more of my 'freedom' that I have now if I did retire.  But I would get to read more, and make more things.  I just couldn't get out of the house to do things.  I want to volunteer at a hospital and rock babies in the NICU.  I want to make a difference in someone's life.  I want to.... do so much more than just sit at home.  So, for now, I work.  It's up to God if I can live long enough to make memories after I can retire. My life is in His hands.

So - if you had a chance to retire - what would YOU do?  What difference in others' lives would YOU make?

Something to think about.

Met no opposition....

 We have a 'housekeeper' coming in this morning to clean our house.  She will wipe down everything, dust, sweep and mop and even does windows.  Not sure what this one will charge, but I expect will be close to what we paid the one we had before.  I sometimes felt 'shamed' by the other one we had because she would sweep and of course it was a LOT of dog hair.. and would sweep it all together and make a point of showing us how much she swept up.  She was thorough, though, and the house smelled good and clean when she was finished.

My daughter got a new housekeeper and shared how good this one cleaned her new house and asked if I wanted her to come clean ours.  I said 'sure' and she is scheduled for this morning to come.  We have a two-bedroom place, but still almost 1800 square feet, so it won't be too bad to clean as pen spaces in most rooms.  I've kind of pushed this one off on the hubby to pay.  In the past I have paid either the entire bill (which wasn't bad, really) or hubby would write me a check for 1/2 and I'd pay 1/2.     

I actually took a lunch break yesterday and heated up chili and sat down with hubby at the table for me to inhale. (Yeah, I eat fast).  Hubby asks me...'what do you think she will charge for cleaning?'  I don't know, but I am pretty confident that it won't be more than what we paid before.  "How often do you think we should have her come over to clean?"  I just looked at him and responded...."no more than once a month at the most.  After all, cleaning is YOUR job.  This is to HELP YOU, because you aren't doing your job."  I could not believe it.  He didn't get defensive, he didn't get angry, he got silent.  

Why?  Because he knew I was right.  He argues with me when I try to clean, saying that it is his job to do the cleaning because I work.  Unfortunately, over the years he has gone from keeping the house clean enough you could eat off the floors to where dust and dirt are prevalent everywhere and let's not talk about dog hair!  I have to ask him to run the sweeper most times.  Daughter got us a roomba for Christmas.  It is still sitting there.  I took it out of the box a couple weeks ago and put on charger.  I have even turned it on a few times and let it go do its thing.  He hasn't touched it.  I told my daughter it wasn't a gift for US, it was to be a gift for HIM because he is supposed to clean.  Supposed.

So after our conversation I got up, rinsed my dishes off and put in the dishwasher.  Washed the pan and wiped off the cabinet.  When he finished and was still just sitting there watching me, not saying a word, I took his bowl and spoon, rinsed it and put in the dishwasher.  And went back to work.   

Just remembered that earlier in the week we had the little leaves from our tree in the back all over the carpet and kitchen floor - thanks to Sheeba who brings these wet leaves in when she goes out to do her business.  I couldn't find where the broom had been put so grabbed the little broom and dust pan from the trash drawer and got on my knees to sweep them up as they were scattered all over.  Hubby stood there and watched me, never saying a word.  Not a 'let me do that and you get back to work' or 'I need to take care of that'.  Nope.  Not a word.

See - I can do some things too.  He just refuses to let me, usually.  Interesting that the past couple weeks, as I look back at the different things I have done and he either didn't notice (like dusting) or just watched and never said a word.

So what did he do after we had that conversation yesterday?  I had also commented about how shaming it was for someone to find all that dog hair because we didn't sweep it up.  He got up, got the sweeper, and went through the entire house, running the sweeper.  And picked up a lot of dog hair.    More will come up today, I'm sure, but I can't stand the dog hair laying on the tile floor and it feels like I'm constantly picking it up.

So - not being negative, just finding something to write about.   I still can't get over he never said a word and I wasn't being mean.  I am surprised I said it because I usually just keep it inside.  But I spoke it and just said, "it's your job.  This is to help you."  Perhaps reality hit that he wasn't doing his 'job'.  

Yes, I'm a clutter-er.... I have things laying around.  I am guilty of that.  In fact, I have books and yarn stacked in many places.  And  I plan to go around before the housekeeper comes and try to put some of them away so she can dust.  

Makes me think about how our lives become cluttered with 'things' and with 'dust' that we allow in.  We fill our minds with things of no value and sit more than we move around at times.  I'm guilty of sitting way more than I should.  After work I fix dinner, then on to the couch I go to either read (if the TV stays off), listen to a book (finally got audible so that I can still put something good in my mind while hubby watches TV), and crochet (while listening to audible or watching a movie).  But I sit all evening - which isn't good for my 'spread' either.  Sure will be glad when it stays light longer - would like to get some walking in.  

So what are you cluttering your mind with?  Is it things that are beneficial, helpful, or just entertaining?  Are you learning anything?

Have a great Thursday - wow, this week has flown by!

My older sister.....

 Today is my older sister's birthday, and if I count correctly, she will be 78 today.  A grandson also has a birthday today and he will be 23.  Where does the time go?  Especially since I usually don't feel like I am getting any older.   My older sister, though, well, that's a different story.

I often wonder how I am so different than most of my family.  I usually mark it up to I am the only one who was smart enough to move out of state.  Although, in all honesty, I didn't 'choose' to move out of state, I got married and had to move out of state.  But that's another lengthy and full of nonsense story.

My older sister.  Growing up I don't remember much about her as she is six years older than I am.  I remember her taking care of us after our dad died and mother had to go to work at the market.  She used to beat us, I remember that.  I was one who always defied her I guess, for I carried with me numerous times the lines of a belt on my body.   She was not a positive influence in my life, and I find that sad.  She was pretty when she wanted to be.  I found a portrait of her in some photos the other day...taken many years ago.  She had make up on and really looked beautiful.  She looked happy.

But then life happened.  But then, life happens to all of us, and how we allow it to define us, to make us, well, we all respond differently.

She has turned bitter, and angry, and unforgiving.  She forgets nothing.  I can remember many, many years ago when she wanted my older brother to watch her children and he turned her down.  It was as if she kept a list .... she began to tell him of the many times she had picked up his children, and kept them. She told him of all the things she felt she had done for him.  He still didn't keep her kids, by the way.  And we all learned at that time that she kept a mental list (if not a real list) of everything everyone did for her - or against her.  And she doesn't forget.

My older sister has rheumatoid arthritis.  She got it years ago, but God healed her.  I truly believe He did.  And she agrees.  But then about 15-20 years later... it came back for whatever reason and according to her, it came back with a vengence.    She isn't crippled, but is heading that way as now her hands are starting to freeze in place.  She falls constantly because she doesn't move about as she should.  She doesn't exercise her muscles to keep them strong.  She has had numerous outpatient and inpatient rehab treatments - but once they stop - she stops.  I know I have even sent her balls that she can squeeze with her hands because she said that would help.  And she says she has stomach cancer and refuses treatment for it.  When she told us about it a few years back, she said it was very slow growing and the doctor told her without treatment she had 10-15 years.  It's probably been 4-5 years since it was diagnosed and many times she has given up on living.  

I look at my sister and the life she has had, and one can't help but feel bad for her.  Three very rough marriages.  Children who rejected her; grandchildren who have nothing to do with her.  Great-grandchildren she has never seen.  She has become a bitter, angry, hateful old woman.  Most days.

I try to talk with her frequently and some times the calls can go several minutes, and other times she cuts me off with an 'I got to go to the bathroom' and hangs up.  Sometimes she is nice, sometimes there is no reasoning with her.  She always says she is ready to die.... and yet... I don't think she is.  I don't feel she is in the place mentally and emotionally for one who is truly ready to die - unless they have no regard for where they may end up.

Our younger sister and I have tried to talk with her about life, about heaven.  We can ask her does she know she is going to heaven and she will say yes.  Then she will spew hateful words about people in her past - unforgiven.  And I tell her, all I can do is pray that God will open her eyes that she will truly embrace Him and let the past be past, and live for now, awaiting the glorious day of Christ's return.  I love my older sister.... I don't always understand her.  She doesn't take care of herself.  She doesn't care about living anymore.  

I always get in trouble with her because I try to always send a gift to her for her birthday and she gets after me that 'I don't celebrate my birthday so don't get me anything'.  The last few years I've given up trying to figure out what she could want; she has much more money than I do.  If she wants it, she can buy it.  So I have sent her food.  Snacks.  Fun stuff.  This year I ordered several little cheesecakes.  She can freeze some of them and let them thaw out and eat as she wants them.  I'm hoping she gets calls from the others but rarely does one go over.  Our little sister said yesterday she had to go over because she forgot to mail her a card.  Come to think about it - I didn't mail a card either.  Yipes!  That thought did not even enter my mind.  Uh oh.  black mark for me!

As I sit here this morning and think about my older sister, I am also reminded that I am getting older as well.  My life has been a mixture of joy and pain, happiness and sorrow.  But I don't feel that my life has weighed me down.  I may get sad sometimes, and I allow myself that time.  Then I know I must pick myself up, brush myself off, and remind myself WHOSE I am, and straighten my crown.   I may be getting older, and my life isn't and hasn't always been the way I wanted it to be.  But I choose to believe that God brings good even out of the bad in my life.  Life is hard sometimes, but sometimes I have made that life hard.  I contribute as much as I receive, I'm afraid.

But there is one thing I do know.  It is better to learn from the past, and then forget what the past entailed and keep my eyes focused on the prize that is before me.   The prize?  The prize of belonging to Jesus.  I shutter to think how my life would be if I didn't have Jesus to guide and direct my path.  When I choose Him, my life is His, and He directs me in the way I should go.  It's when I decide I know better that I trip and I fall flat on my face.  So why not choose Him?

This morning as I sip my coffee (which, by the way, tastes just fine this morning since I didn't take my zinc tablet yet), I am reminded of the goodness of God in my life.  He blessed me with three beautiful children, lots of grandchildren that turn my hair even grayer in some cases, and now with beautiful great-grandchildren.  God has been so good to me.  In spite of the things I've done that were not pleasing to Him; in spite of the choices I made; God has never given up on me.  He continually draws me close to His heart.

And, in spite of your past; in spite of what you have done, in spite of what you are doing that is not pleasing to God, thinking it is done in secret; He still loves you and is drawing you close to His heart.  It isn't my job to tell you right from wrong.  That is my opinion.  God is the Ultimate Judge and He will show you the way in which you should walk.  Choose wisely.  Children and grandchildren may follow in your footsteps.  

Happy birthday, Sis.   for you iI pray that today you will have a day pain-free, and full of forgiveness, and full of joy.

Blessings!

My stomach and early morning coffee....

 I don't know what is going on with my tummy but for the past couple weeks I have been unable to finish the coffee hubby brings in to me to drink while doing my quiet time.  Not sure what that is about.  Even by taking just a few small sips, my tummy starts feeling a bit nauseous.   Now I love coffee, and usually the stronger the better, but for a few weeks now - not daily, mind you, but on an occasional morning (and this morning, which brings me to write about it) I start backing away from the coffee and not drink it.  Could hubby be putting something in it?  LOL  Doubtful.  He would have much difficulty in life without me.  Truth.  Not sure what it is.  After many, many years of drinking coffee at 4AM, perhaps my body is saying to back off the early morning hours.  

Oh wait, I bet I know what it is!  Just happened to remember that a few weeks ago I started taking zinc!  I have heard that zinc is good to take with colds, with the flu, with this coronavirus going around, that it will help you get through it faster.  As a preventive measure, I bought a bottle and put one tablet with my regular vitamins.  I take my vitamins and my one prescription pill, in these early morning hours to start my day.  I have them here on the table next to me along with a container of water.  It's easy to get my pills taken and then I'm done for the day.  I started adding the zinc a few weeks ago.  As I drink my coffee, I bet the zinc and the bitterness of the coffee just do not get along.  I'll have to take the zinc out and see if that resolves it.  Perhaps because it says 'take preferably with food' it has something in it that interacts with my coffee.  Guess I need to move it to a meal versus a time with just me and coffee.  Whew.  Glad that was figured out.  I do like my coffee in the mornings.

I hear hubby moving about early this morning.  He is going to be going to the rec center and use the gym equipment.  He asked me if I wanted to go with him at 5:30AM... I thought briefly (VERY briefly) and said nope.  It is cold and wet out and I don't think I want to cut my time short in the mornings just to go to the gym.  He is to meet one of his friends there (Tuesdays-Thursdays) so they can work out together then go to breakfast.

I have my weight bench, I have my hand weights, I have my bands.  I can do my workouts at home.  I do miss my treadmill but can go to the gym some time during the day (like, why don't I go on my lunch hour?) and use the treadmill.  I just might start doing that today.  It's daylight.  It's sometimes warmer than it is right now.  We have a new challenge on at work starting today (steps steps, and more steps).  Or maybe I will just do a quick walk (without Sheeba) through the area I usually walked Sheeba in.  It was a couple miles and I did it in less than an hour.  I think I might try that.  

I like that thought a lot cause I can talk with God while I'm walking.  People generally do not stop you if you are walking alone (without a dog).  Sometimes while walking Sheeba they would stop me and comment on her, or tell me about their dog (which was the result of the the lunge and breaking my toe, and the end of walking Sheeba).  Yeah, I will have to see about that.  My favorite boss will often break away for an hour to do a walk just to get out and breathe away from work.  It probably would be very good for me to do that as well.  I sit glued to the computer most of the day; even eating lunch at my desk on occasion.

I've started a new book.  Defined - Who God Says You Are by Stephen and Alex Kendrick - the brothers who created several Christian movies.  This one is based on the movie Overcomer.  If you haven't seen it, you need to.  It is an amazing moving about change, about forgiveness.    The book has us reading one chapter a day, and then has a few things at the end to think about.  This chapter is on The confusion of your identity.  One thing it does talk about is how people convince themselves that they aren't who God created them to be (man vs woman; woman vs man).  When we convince ourselves that we are someone else, it doesn't mean that we are, we have just convinced ourselves that we are.  When our identify is in Christ, we know exactly who we are.   God doesn't make mistakes.    I'm just finishing chapter 2 so have a ways to go.  Who do I think God says I am?  I believe that He says I am His.

I am thinking today is a chili day.  I laid out hamburger a couple days ago and think it will be perfect going into chili.  Yes, hamburger, not the turkey burger that I usually use.  Or maybe I'll make taco soup instead.  Or, maybe I'll make up a batch of both!  Then we can have a variety!  I love hot soup on a cold wet day.  It doesn't matter which one - it will be good.  I'm just leaning towards chili. :-)

Speaking of the weather, we actually had a storm out here and had hail all over the place.  One thing for sure, Sheeba does not like the rain.  If we try to take her out, she will stand there and look up at the sky, then shake off the rain.  But she won't do her business.  She will hold it in as long as she can.  At those times we have to watch for a break in the weather so that she will go.  Poor thing.  We don't like being in the rain either, but she isn't sure what it is.  After all, how much time has she spent in the rain in 22 months?  Yep - she won't be two until March 8.  Yep.  I know what day that is.  Ironic, don't you think?

So who do you think God says you are?  Have you ever really thought about that?  I believe that God thinks you are amazing.  I believe that He breathed life into you so that you can bring joy to others.  I believe that He has great plans for you.  The problem many of us have is that we want to do things OUR way.  What if we should begin to let God take us to things He wants us to do?  What if we would 'second guess' what we want to do and pause and ask God what does He want us to do?  What if we were kind, instead of angry.  What if we were loving to others, instead of just tolerating?  What if we chose to do good, instead of doing nothing?  What if.....  

What would you do differently if you let God lead you today?  Think about it.

Blessings!

The boss is back today!

 The past two weeks have been fairly quiet, though at times busy with meetings.  All that 'relaxation' comes to an end today as my big boss got back in town yesterday, I'm sure.  Which means she will be back on the computer and sending me notes to schedule meetings.  I'm almost afraid to turn on my work computer.  But then, I may be surprised.  OH MY GOODNESS!  Was I being negative already?  Let's rephrase this!

I've had a light past couple of weeks with only a few meetings I personally had to attend and take minutes.  My big boss is back in town now and I will be busy with scheduling meetings and other things she will be asking me to do.  I can't wait to turn on the computer and get started!

Now, which one do you believe?  LOL  Yeah, I usually go the first paragraph, don't I?!  But this week I am trying to eliminate negative words from coming out of me.  That is really hard, as you can see from the above two paragraphs.   Even my thoughts were negative about my boss coming back into town and that she would have work for me to do.

I know one thing I must do this morning and that is order flowers for her.  I was asked last week if I had ordered any - and I answered no.  Then I was advised that we have a corporate account at a few florists in town.  No one has passed that information on before.  I went online last week and started to order for delivery today, but got sidetracked and forgot to do it.  I must go online today and see when I can get them delivered.  Just a reminder of why I am ordering flowers; her mother died of covid a couple weeks ago.

We had a fairly nice weekend.  We did go to church at the RV park yesterday and it was good to see friends.  Stopped for lunch on the way home.  Chilled for the rest of the day.  Worked on a couple crochet projects and watched 'Grace Card' movie.  That movie always makes me cry.  LOL  After the movie hubby asked me if I was coming down with something because during the movie I was sniffling a lot.  I just looked at him and commented the movie makes me cry.  That was weird.

How many times do we allow negative thoughts and negative words enter into us?  Unfortunately too frequently.  I live with a negative person (stating that is not negative) but I have the honor of having two very positive people in my life who help me when I start feeling negative.  One is my favorite boss and my best friend.  We've known each other for 25+ years and it is her I have worked for - wow - for probably 20 of those years in the three companies I've last worked for.  She is the one who took me from the clerical job I had done for years - and moved me into an administrative role and on up into an executive administrative roll.  I have followed her to the last two companies we have worked for.  I adore her - why?  Because she is a very positive person and in spite of rough times or things coming against her, she always finds the positive in it.  I've seen her when she has struggled and also when she is on top of things.  She is simply amazing.  I know all her family and they are all like her - positive, happy, and full of life.  She encourages me to be all that God wants me to be.  Yes, we even talk about God with each other and it is so good to have someone in my life that I can do that with.

The other person is my big brother.  He is a very positive person as well.  I know some of my children hold him at a distance because of his stance against one of my other brothers, but until you know the entire story, don't hold opinions.  This brother frequently touches base with me to see how I and my children are doing.  He encourages me to do things, to keep myself moving.  We challenge each other in different areas.  He had heart surgery a year ago so has slowed down his physical activity but is still building on his strength.  He has never given up.  Even yesterday he was sending me photos of bird feeders that he is painting - and I am really impressed at his skill - to hang out in his yard.  He is always working on his house, doing something in it.  He bought two fire hydrants and painted them a month or so ago and made one a Snoopy and the other... I forget exactly, but it was patriotic.   His project this week is fixing up the bird houses that he has in his back yard.  I love the photos he sends of the birds that fly in his back yard.  Oh yeah, he is also fixing them to where the squirrels can't get to the feeder.  But he also encourages me and pushes me to achieve things rather than sit around and moan and groan about my lot in life.  When I feel down, I know I can count on him to help me see another view and get past my self-centeredness.

Who do you have in your life who can build you up and make you feel worthy of whatever you do?  If you don't have someone, I encourage you to find someone who will speak life into you and encourage you to be all that you can be.  Life is too short to be negative and down on life and everyone else.  

Challenge to you!  Start today and even if you don't feel encouraged, encourage someone.  Tell that spouse how much you admire .... whatever it is.  Could it be the way they cook?  The way the clean? Their stability in keeping things going?  What can you encourage them on?  You will find that as you encourage others, it will bring joy to your heart.

And we all can use joy, right?   Be honest, be truthful, but be encouraging.  Things that are said can cause people to be what you call them to be.  Have a student?  Tell them what a great job they are doing in just getting up to go to school in the mornings.  Encourage them in their studies.  Have a spouse who creates or does something you like?  Tell them so.  Its the little things we take for granted that sometimes need the most encouragement.

Do something nice today.  Smile.  Even if you don't feel like it.

Blessings!

I wanna go to church....

 Today is Sunday and we are going to the RV park close to the freeway today as hubby is scheduled to speak.  It all hinged on the results of the COVID tests and since we both came back negative, we are going.  We have to wear our masks and the chairs are set up that people can sit six feet and more apart.  The last time we were there, there were maybe 40 people.  With the rain, there may be even less.  It is sad, really.  A year ago we would have over 100 people attend.  Now everyone is either afraid to go, don't want to make the effort, or have gotten so used to online preaching they don't bother.

I must admit, and I think I have before, that I have gotten used to watching our pastor (and others) on the computer for our services.  I enjoy being able to curl up in my casual clothes, with a cup of coffee, and my current crochet project and watch services on TV.  I participate in the songs, and listen closely to the preaching.  But I have found I like staying home.  

But I also miss the social interaction with those I love and care for.  (Note to self:  call Ms. Betty today and check in on her; also on Ms. Amy next door)   I miss the greetings, the smiles that go up into the eyes when someone sees me, the hugs, the casual conversations, the encouragement I receive from others just in their greeting.  I so miss that!  Butt to go, even wearing masks, we cannot gather together to chat in our little church.  There are not that many of us anyway in the entire church, but to be so isolated, even in church is distressing.  But, we need to take the first step and go, I think.  Unfortunately, I think the preaching is still on a screen, in fact, I'm pretty sure it is as a friend went and she said it was.  So why go if we can't get together and chat and greet, we sit apart, and we watch the same service on the screen in the church as we do in our comfortable chairs at home?  Now I'm flipping again.

I wanna go back to the way it was!  I want the hugs and kisses on the cheek!  I want the handshakes!  I want the sitting by people.  I want to worship together.  I so very much miss that.  But, I fear that church as we have known it is a thing of the past.

So what does the future hold?  I am afraid many people who went to church before will no longer attend church as the churches will continue to do online church as they have a larger audience.  I believe Free Chapel mentioned one time that they now have 5000 online members - not counting those who go to the churches - and they just opened up another church!  They do so much for others.  I see their posts of getting produce and meat and passing out in boxes to people in cars that are lined up even outside the parking lot.  I've read how they have helped make bomb shelters in Israel close to schools because once there is a bomb set off, they have only so many seconds to get to safety - and these shelters give the children a place to run to and get under their covering for protection.  There are so many things that this church does for Kingdom building.

Our church has tripled, I believe we were told.  There used to be 40 that would come (if all came at the same time and that includes children), multi-cultural, which means we had some people it is very hard to understand what they are saying since we don't understand their language and they are trying hard to speak English with a strong accent.  But the online church comes from England, Africa, Jamaica, Canada, United Sates, and other countries.  Many people tune in to watch our services.

There are many uncertainties in the future ahead of us.  Many things will or will not change, according to our own decisions.  Church will never be the same, we all know that.  Just like work can not go back to the way it was.  I know I will have to go back to the office once they open it back up, but the thought of still having to wear a mask saddens me.  I grow so weary of wearing them.  Why bother to put on make up except around the eyes?  No one will ever see it and it gets all inside the mask.  

I need to stop and get moving this morning to get ready for church.  Free Chapel/Jentezen Franklin comes on at 7AM and 9AM currently.  You can get him on facebook if you put the name - great messages every week.  Which reminds me, our fast this coming week is to "Fast Negativity"  Replace negative words with positive words.  Fasting facebook seems a lot easier.

I have found, speaking of fasting facebook, that I haven't missed the scrolling through it.  I may continue.  I have my 'favorites' and I check the alerts to see if they have posted and will go to that post to see what it is, but then I get right back off.  Yes, I've missed a lot of posts I probably would have enjoyed seeing, but scrolling through is a timewaster.  I would rather be productive.  I can't crochet and scroll facebook.  I can complete a project and donate to someone; I can do nothing but groan over facebook.

So - stop talking negatively this week.  In some cases that will be hard because you first have to stop doing it in your mind.  Lord, help me!  I know I sometimes struggle with it; and I'm sure you do as well.  So let's both try to speak positive words to each other this week.  And then continue it on.

We got this!  and God's got us!   He will help us.  Make that determination to be a positive person and speak life into people by building them up, versus tearing them down.

Blessings!

Feeling Just Fine.....

 I'm still feeling fine so still believe that I don't have anything to worry about as far as contracting the virus.  Still have another week to go of quarantine.  If I get a negative result I'm out of quarantine, right?  I woke up with a dull headache again, but after sleeping so well the night before, I was disappointed I didn't sleep as well last night.  I think it was more I had some things on my mind and couldn't really sleep, rather than anything else.  I woke up early, decided I wouldn't get up - and ended up dozing off and on until I heard hubby get up at 6:45AM this morning!  I got up then and here I am.  I have not stayed in bed that late  - well, I just can't remember when.   Hubby is feeling fine too - except for his usual complaints of not sleeping well because I'm not in the bed, sore shoulder, etc.

HALLELUJAH!!  WOOT!!  PRAISE GOD!  My phone just rung and I debated on answering it because I didn't recognize the number and get so tired of the warranty, issues with social security card, etc. calls.  Then I remembered that we were told by the urgent care that we will get a phone call that will leave a voicemail if we didn't answer.  I decided to just go ahead and answer it.  

MY COVID TEST RESULTS ARE NEGATIVE.  Woot!  Wait!  Does this mean I can't still sleep in this other room and have privacy?  Does this mean I get to go places now?  Do I still need to be in quarantine?  I think hubby will insist I go back 'to normal' - whatever normal means.  But my test results are normal so I guess I can go places now.  

I thank God my test came back negative.  I really felt they would be, but asked Him to ensure they were.  He always takes care of me.

We watched a movie last night that we had seen before but I had forgotten the title of it.  It's about the lives of 12 different people and how they all intersected at the end.  The movie is called 'Do You Believe'.  It's a great movie and I would recommend watching it.  In fact, I think I'd like to watch it again in a few days.  It has a lot of things in it that make you think.

But the main question that starts the movie (if I remember correctly) is 'Do you believe in the cross of Christ and that He died for you?'   It's so easy to say yes, I believe that, but our lives do not show it.  I look at my own life (as I am not to judge anyone else's) and I know of many ways I need to change and be more Christ-like.  And I want to work on that.  Life isn't easy, and God has never said following Him would be easy.  But it will be so worth it.

So I am going to turn that question around and ask you - Do you believe in the cross of Christ, and that He died for you?   Stop reading for a moment and think about that.  I have a book that I read recently that described a man's life who rejected Jesus.  He would have nothing to do with Jesus.  The book went on to share he died and what transpired after that.  Yes, it is fictional but descriptive of what Hell can be like.  I don't want to go there.  My sister and I often comment to each other that when we die, we hope it is on a 'good day' so that we will go to Heaven.  But the reality is that we need to be focused and have a 'good day' every day.

I pray daily for specific things, and I know that I may not see some of these things happen in my lifetime, and as I get older, that time gets shorter.  But I believe that God has heard each of my prayers and that He will answer them, in His time.  So many times we pray and want answers now - I know I do.  I want that person healed.  I want to win that prize. I want all my children in church and praising God. I want the easy road to living for Jesus.  But sometimes God will say NO, and sometimes His answer is NOT YET.   

I think about selling our house.  If we had sold it a few years ago when I first started thinking about it, we wouldn't have gotten as much for it as we have.  We were in a wait mode.  When hubby finally agreed, the market had gone back up and we got almost 3 times more than we had originally paid for it.  I still can't believe we got that much.  But we were able to put a substantial amount down on this property, pay off several bills, and with continuing to work (which is another thing - could we have gotten this house if I wasn't working?) we are currently comfortable in our finances - probably for the first time ever.  I still want to quit work and start working at something else - or volunteering to do things for others.  God will always provide what we need when we need it.  

I believe in the cross of Jesus Christ and that He bled and died for me, so that my sins are forgiven and I can be with Him in heaven when my life on earth is ended.  That is my goal in life.  Going to Heaven to be with Jesus.  What about you?

Do you believe in the cross of Jesus Christ and that He bled and died for you?  That your sins are forgiven and you will be with Him in heaven when you die?  If yes, praise God!  If not, my prayer is that you will think about your life and turning it over to Jesus.  It doesn't mean you have to give up everything.  God will impress upon you what He wants you to give up when it is time.  You will find that you no longer have a desire for it.  He doesn't demand perfection.  He gives it.

Do you believe?  You will feel so much peace if you do.  Watch the movie (I have it, by the way, in case you do want to watch it).  You will see how our lives intersect with others, and how Jesus works in all of them.

Blessings!