Wednesday, May 18, 2016

I am so ready for time off.....

Work has been so busy lately with the merger of another company with ours. At first it didn't make any difference, but now that the actual merging of the two companies is imminent, it is getting crazy. And I'm getting annoyed. Don't want to get this person on my "bad" side - but she reports to MY boss.... and is only a Director.... and it feels like she is very aggressive and 'taking over' some things. And this is a silly feeling I'm having. Merging of some areas is normal - but .. well... ok -

Our director asked this other director had she thought any more about having a 'meet and greet' for the two departments. Now mind you, about 10 of the people from this company - and this person's department - will be moving directly into our offices to work with our people. Others will stay at the other company about 3 miles away for now. So I get copied on this email yesterday from this director (she had sent it to her AA) that for the AA to work with me - and we will have a breakfast HERE in our building NEXT WEEK.

I don't have time to coordinate anything in our building right now!! However, as I was on a project yesterday, the AA is calling me in about 20 minutes to discuss this. I did talk to our director about it - and she wasn't aware it was being set up so quickly. (wouldn't you think one director would talk to the other?) I DID tell our director that this other director had better watch out - I am territorial and I will not let her walk over 'my' people here! This person is very aggressive so it will prove interesting.

My boss is not in town this week so I can't go in and spout off to her. I just feel it needs more thought than just 'do this' attitude. I'm annoyed. I'm busy, and I'm sure the other AA is as well. Now if they wanted to do it there - I don't care - but if it's here, then I have to be involved and I have a lot of things to get done. PLUS it would need to start about 6:30am-ish and then there is overtime for the hourly people to come in (and some may not if they have small children they have to get off to school). There is a lot of things to take into consideration.

Well, I did IM my boss and she just responded, "let's do it." Boo. I thought she would be on my side.... but then, I didn't give her all the details, I just asked the question. Maybe I am too territorial and don't want this director involved in MY area.... I guess we started off on the wrong foot..... The first day I met her she was 'name-dropping' that she was 'friends' with the President of our Corporation in St. Louis and how he had hired her (now mind you, over 20 years ago and she only worked for the company 3 years before going elsewhere and eventually coming back to the Corporation about six-eight years ago). He probably doesn't even remember who she is, but she made sure I knew she had been hired by him and knew him personally. Name droppers. sigh. It's actually become a joke for she not only told me, I found out she also told our company President, my boss, our chief medical officer - and who knows who else.

She isn't happy that she has to report to MY boss who is a VP.... in the beginning she was put under the company President but now that we are lining things up - he can't wait to get rid of her. This should prove interesting cause I will have to have contact with her. I just feel she is going to try to push OUR director (of the same department) out and take it all over. I'm already annoyed just thinking about it.

Ok - I guess I've grumbled long enough. It's time for the AA to call me.

But on a good note - I was singing to the Lord on my way to work this morning the song "open up the heavens, I want to see You, open up the flood gates, a mighty river" and I kid you not - the cloudy sky opened up a hole and sun shined through it for about five minutes.

God is good.


Monday, May 9, 2016

What God is showing me....

seems to be a lot of waiting. It seems the more I ask, the more I seek His face, the more He has me wait.

This is the toughest part of all. I then begin to question the things I ask of Him.

Does He want me to do this? Or does He want me to do that? Should I get this? Should I not get this? Should I remain silent and just keep doing what I do? Or should I speak up and give suggestions as to what I think I should do? What should I do? So many questions, and right now I don't seem to be getting many answers.

So I wait.

And during this time of waiting, God is gently drawing me to Him. As I sit and be silent, He knows He has my attention. He doesn't speak, He doesn't move, but I know He is there. And it is comforting, and loving, and peaceful. I know that no matter what is going on, no matter what I feel, no matter what I am going through, no matter how many questions I ask, or what kind of questions I ask, I know beyond all doubt that He hears me.

He doesn't answer the way I want Him to. He doesn't respond to my pleading. At least, not in ways that I hear or see. But I know He is showing me love and great patience. He knows what is best for me, and for those I pray for. He knows when it is time to accomplish what He wants them to, and when I should remain silent.

How can I speak my opinions when He hasn't shown me they are right? I know, I seem to voice my opinions frequently, but that doesn't mean they come from Him. Some opinions come from my frustrations, from my hurt, from my anguish, or from me.

Through it all, God shows me He has good things planned for me, and for those I pray for. He is totally in charge and loves each of us individually. He cares for us and wants only the best for us.

I need to continue to just wait. And Listen. He is teaching me of Himself.


Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Saying prayers....

Every morning I say my prayers. Well, not always verbally, but sometimes in my mind, sometimes writing them out in my journal, sometimes in silence I just yield to what and how the Spirit leads me.

Many times my prayers are for healing of others, or even myself. Sometimes it is just to help me through another day. Or to bring blessings of financial rescue for someone in need. Or for a job for someone. Sometimes my prayers are just prayers of praise and blessings to God.

And it all depends on what is going on. Sometimes it is all of these - blended together in prayers that plead the blood of Jesus over those I care for, that they will feel the Presence of God and know that they are in His hands.

Have you ever driven down the road and felt you were not alone, yet you were? Could it be that someone has prayed for you, that Jesus would be with you as you go to work, go to the store, or wherever you are going?

What if you paused in your thinking at that moment, and talked with Him? What if you shared what was on your mind, on your heart?

What if you just told Him that you need some guidance, some wisdom, cause you just don't know what to do?

What if you just told Him that you know you have strayed from Him, and would like to find your way back?

He won't accuse you, He won't make you feel bad. He doesn't beat you up and tell you how terrible you are, how much you have sinned and how disappointed He is in you.... no, Jesus doesn't do that.

What He does do, is open His arms wide and wrap them around you, your heart, your mind, and whispers in your ear how much you are loved.

No matter what you have done, no matter how bad it is, how difficult life has become, Jesus is right there with you. He is walking with you in this journey of life.

And He is interceding for you to our Heavenly Father. Why? Because He loves you.

Take some time to talk with Him today. Ponder your life and where you see it going - and where it could go with Jesus in it. Trust Him. He's on your side. He's got your back.


Monday, April 18, 2016

What life is all about....

In my humble opinion, Life is about loving, living and delighting in God's miracles. His miracles can be of anything! The miracle can be the flower that is starting to open up and bloom - or one that is in full bloom.

His miracles can be the little seed that begins to burst forth out of the ground. Or they can be the beginning of a wait for a new child, watching it's growth within the womb. And the a greater miracle still, the birth of this child.

Have you ever watched a birth of an animal, or a child? It is amazing. Messy sometimes, yes; but amazing. To know that within the body of that person this 'thing', this 'person' was created. From the tiny body, even smaller fingers and toes, and usually a big head! - we ooh and ahh over such a birth. We are filled with great joy at this new miracle of life.

But what happens when this little body starts to grow? I've watched my daughter-in-law in amazement many times at the gentleness she has around people, especially children. She has taught me so much about being a good mother. I wish I had her as a model when I was growing up.

As I have shared many times, my childhood wasn't the best. A lot I have blocked out so that I don't remember. But what I do remember, wasn't love and patience or even gentleness. Unfortunately, because that is what I had been taught, that is what I sometimes passed on to my own children. With much regret I recall my lack of gentleness and patience. But I have always loved them. Loved them with a love that they will never understand until they reach the years I am at now.

I regret much of how my children were raised. I regret I was not a better example, a better mentor. I'm trying to do much better as a grandma, and I think I succeed at that. I find I have much more patience with the grandchildren, I'm even more loving, and if I need to swat a butt, I can do that too. Not that any of my grandchildren have ever needed that!

I was able to spend time with a couple granddaughters Saturday at a ladies tea. It was fun being with them, albeit the speaker went too long in my opinion. But it was fun and everyone said they wanted to come when they have it again. I'm thinking more of getting my granddaughters together and let's plan our OWN tea party at my house. Give them an opportunity to plan it and be involved in preparation. And, they can invite someone to join them if they want. It would be fun. And I think I will plan it with them.

Things like this are what I enjoy - what I call 'living life' - or at least part of it. There are many aspects of living life, of course. But for this day, I'm thinking of the tea and having fun with granddaughters.

Yesterday I was able to spend time with a grandson and have a talk with him. That was good too. I don't know what type of influence I had on him, but at least he knows I love him and wanted to spend some time with him.

Just like I like spending time with others - I want to pass this trait on. Never let go of caring for others enough that you would take time out of your busy schedule and spend time with them. One day you will wish you had.

Love them, share life with them, and delight in them. Let them share what they feel, let them know you care. Live life with them.


Tuesday, April 12, 2016

It was a fun weekend.....

I had a great weekend. At least, for me, it was great. We had lunch Saturday with a granddaughter and her fiancé and I passed on to her a fitbit that I had purchased from someone who didn't need it anymore. She wasn't too sure about it, but I encouraged her to use it just to see how many steps she took between school and work.

OH MY. Sunday I "challenged" my granddaughter and daughter via our Fitbits - and my granddaughter walked all over us - literally!! Well, the little stinker walked a lot and beat us both soundly. I didn't challenge her yesterday but she sends me a text last night. Now mind you, my goal is 10,000 steps a day. Some days that is difficult to reach and other days, very very difficult to reach. I only had about 6400 when I got home yesterday so I got on the treadmill. As I'm walking, I get this text from my granddaughter that says, "I need to set my goal at 16,000 for it to be a challenge for me."

SAY WHAT?? 16,000??!! Well, she reminded me, she does walk all over campus at school - and when she gets to work, she is working with one and two year old children who keep her running after them. She had over 14,000 before she even left work! So yes, I did encourage her to increase her steps to 16,000. But that probably also means that I will never be able to beat her unless she just doesn't go to work or doesn't have school. And that's ok.

I reminded her that even though I may give her a hard time about the walking and beating me all the time, to please remember it is only to be for FUN and for tracking how many steps we walk. I like challenges and therefore challenged her for today even though I am pretty confident she will badly beat me again - but it makes me push to get at least my goal. I had gotten really bad the past few weeks and only doing 6-7,000 because I had no one challenging me to do better. AND, the plus side, when I walk more, I will begin to lose this weight that I have added onto my body by not walking as much. I was doing real well there for awhile - then I quit. My bad!!

Sunday it rained most of the day - so what did I do? I baked a roast with potatoes for lunch and then baked cookies in the afternoon. Brought the cookies into work yesterday except for a few I left for hubby and his men's group. It was fun and I would have continued baking but I ran out of butter. That tells me I need to buy extra and keep in the freezer for times like this. Of course out here in Arizona it doesn't rain as much as some places. And listening to the news, Texas is getting hit bad again with rain and hail.

Work is keeping me busy - we are doing a lot of hiring and guess who gets to set up the interviews for my department. Yep - it be me. I have 4-5 I need to set up today already and more apps are coming in. I've already gotten several set up. At least I'm not on the interview itself - just setting them up.

And today is another busy day and I need to get at it. This rain has been good for my roses - they are blooming all over the front of the house and look so gorgeous.

Have a great day!


Monday, April 4, 2016

April flowers bring....

beautiful yards, for sure. My roses are in full bloom and look - and smell - so beautiful. I want to pick up a few more rose bushes and place strategically with the others, but I noticed the other night that my 5-6 rose bushes on the right front side of the house has gone from individual bushes to intertwining and it looks so full. I love it. They grow so quickly that we have to have them cut back 3-4 times a year. They are already taller than me - which isn't saying much I guess...

The last two weekends have been my dream come true, pretty much. I've often wanted to have the children over for meals, but just haven't done it.... and it probably won't happen often, but Easter was a good weekend to get started. I love the cooking and baking and just having the grandchildren around. Oh - and the kids too. My middle child and family came over the Saturday before Easter, my oldest and family came over on Easter Sunday - and the youngest and his family came over this past Sunday. Same meal - ham, mashed potatoes, corn, green bean casserole, etc. but seemed to be enjoyed by all. I think I am sick of ham, mashed potatoes, corn, green bean casserole, etc. LOL But it was good at the time.

I have several packages of chicken in the refrigerator that I plan on grilling tonight so that I can bring a piece to work with me daily and hubby can have some too. We can always find something else to eat for dinner. Or slice the chicken and make chicken tacos. Or something....

I feel so loved - all three of my children have managed to have some time with me this first quarter. My middle child was first - with lunch at a good salad place. I couldn't believe over two hours had passed before I stopped to look at my watch! It was so good to catch up with him and what he and his family have been doing.

My oldest and her daughter and I ran away for a couple days a few weeks later to what we have labeled "Jailbreak Getaway". I love it! Neither my daughter nor I came up with the name - but my granddaughter did! We cracked up laughing about it - but plan to use it for future getaways. Hopefully we can do this at least once a year. It was good to get away and just chill out and talk. Something that we don't normally have time to do.

My youngest just made it under the first quarter to have 1:1 time with me. In fact, if he hadn't been sent back home, he wouldn't have made it. But, being home, he took me out for dinner last week (and I enjoyed delicious chicken buffalitos (or something like that)- oh my these were so good!! Actually they are chicken tacos and I would love to have them again! It was fun to spend a couple hours with him as well and just catch up.

That's all I asked for. That's all I want. Just time to find out what THEY are doing, what's going on in their families. Not that I'm nosey, but they ARE my children and I just like to keep in touch. Most months go buy and I may talk to them once - and may even get to see them once - but that's about it. So, once a quarter should be good. Except the youngest is going to have to work hard cause he is leaving on Friday and then will be gone for several months.

But will be back next year when the flowers once again start blooming. It's hard to believe it is April already....

I am so grateful for Spring... and it's warmth.... some are already complaining about the heat... but not me. I'm grateful.

What are you grateful for?


Thursday, March 31, 2016

It was by His Hand....

Sometimes we wonder if God is in our situations. We wonder if He even thinks of us at all. We wonder if He listens when we call out to Him, we wonder if He even cares.

I feel He does all of the above. And, I can cite a recent example, although there are many others where I have seen His hand in action.

Earlier this month we took our son to the airport to fly to another city for training, and then eventually be sent overseas on an Army 'mission'. Although I knew he wasn't going to be where there was a lot of danger, I still didn't want him to be so far away from us, but I prayed and put him in God's hands.

Just before his being 'deployed', this son had received back-pay check on a disability he has acquired. He was able to pay off some bills and have some as a cushion for while he was gone. He left that Sunday morning, and God began to pull the reasons for everything together. By the middle of the next week, my son was sent home because of sleep apnea, and had 30 days to get re-tested. He retested a couple nights later. I understand that 2 years ago when he had the testing, it came out as severe apnea, at 52. This time the score came out as 15.4, with 15 being the line drawn for severe apnea. He immediately set plans in motion to get a device fitted in his mouth that would prevent his snoring and help with the apnea.

The children's uncle, their dad's brother had a heart attack, a stroke, and an aneurysm (if I heard correctly) and for the next week or so it was touch and go - then he passed away. This youngest child of mine not only had the time available, he had the money to go back to Indiana to be there for the funeral. He and his wife packed their bags, made arrangements for the grandchildren, and took their time heading to Indiana, arriving a day before the viewing.

During their visit to Indiana, I believe they were able to see every one of their dad's family, as well as my family. He saw his grandparents, who I have heard are in pretty bad health with dementia and grandma is nearly blind as well. Both seemed to know my son when he first saw him and told them who he was, but after that, neither of them recognized nor knew who he was. I think that hurt a lot, besides seeing how "old" and disabled they had gotten, both in wheelchairs. It was a tough visit, and he was asked to be a pall bearer.

And this is where I see God showing His hand. My son was sent back home from the base. He had the money, and the time. He had a sleep study but didn't pass. He was fitted for a device. He made the trip over a ten day period. He got back home on Sunday. He picked up the device on Tuesday. Had another sleep study completed on Tuesday night - and passed with a "1". He goes today to complete paperwork and send off the paperwork from the sleep study. Looks like he will be leaving again around April 8th.

God provided the money, provided the free time, provided a reliable vehicle, gave them travel mercies there. This son was able to stand in the gap for his father, and his siblings, and represent them at their uncle's funeral. He was able to take his time and drive back safely. Within two days of arriving back he has his device, passes the sleep study, and now completes what he needs to in order to leave. I truly believe that God provided all this.

Sometimes we take God for granted on the things that fall into place - or do not fall into place. But His hand is truly upon each and every one of us. When things are tough, look to see where He is working. When things are good, look to see His blessings.

and in all things, whether good or bad, give praise to God our Father, for it is He who is working in and through you to bring about all things. He is always working for your good.