Sunday, June 19, 2016

Getting ready to start a busy week.

I can use one of those captions "I'm Back"! With being on vacation last week - it seems like I have been gone forever. I decided to jump on the computer tonight to see what is going on before I go back to work tomorrow morning. My boss had already text'd me on Friday that she had ordered breakfast for Monday morning as we have a bunch of new people moving into one of our departments and we have about 20 people moving around. Looks like I will need to be at work by 6AM so that I can figure out what is going on.

It was nice being off last week, but I am already wishing that I hadn't taken all week off. Five days at one time has really set me back - I had 200 emails waiting on me tonight - took me nearly an hour to just get through them - and that is putting some in secure print so that tomorrow when I go in I can just hit print and my code and they will all print out - but then I have meetings to make, calls to return, minutes to type - and whatever else has gone on.

I did get a shock when I read one email. I'm still stunned and couldn't keep from shedding tears. One of my friends - probably about 50-ish - I don't know what happened, but I read an email where she passed away. No one told me - I read the email and just sat here thinking, no, it couldn't be my friend - I just talked to her last week! But, alas, an email from her daughter confirmed her death - and that they donated her organs to three people. Which is pretty cool. I hope when I die that my organs will be acceptable to someone that they can have a better quality of life. Yes, I am an organ donor and carry the card, and have the sticker on my driver's license.

Tomorrow will be an extremely busy day, I'm sure. I'm debating on wearing jeans and tennis shoes, but I also have meetings so think I will go ahead and wear a dress or skirt/top. I hope I can get on top of things right away, but looking at all my emails, I have a lot already on the calendar for tomorrow. I may be working late.

The week's vacation was ok. I really feel we didn't do much. We did have a cookout at my daughter's on Sunday evening so that everyone could see my sister and her husband. Monday my sister and I got a pedicure and nail tips. Will see how long either of us leave them on - but in the meantime, my nails do look nice. I like the nails because my princess granddaughter can really decorate my nails when she has time - I love how she does some of the scenes. But, since she doesn't live here, it makes it more difficult to get done.

We went to Sedona, then Prescott on Tuesday, toured the town square in Prescott on Wednesday then headed back home. We did what we could, but my BIL couldn't do some things (like get in the spa because his immune system was low) - reckon we could have gone ahead, but felt guilty since we were there with them. Thursday and Friday it seems we did nothing. Sis and I did a couple Sam's club runs but didn't buy much. I definitely rested all week because I couldn't get her to get up early and go walking - and then Friday she tells me she would have gotten up. I quit asking after a couple days of no response. I definitely didn't get any exercise last week and I really feel it.

I had invited my middle child and boys over for a swim today because it was to be really hot - thought they could swim and I'd fix hamburgers for dinner - but they never responded back. So, hubby and I got in the pool by ourselves after the sun started to go down; fixed a shake for dinner and I jumped on the computer. It's been a very quiet day, other than we went to church this morning.

I guess I need to quit my rambling and get my things ready for tomorrow. I'm actually looking forward to getting back to work - I feel like I've been gone forever. God and I have had a lot of talks this week. It's been interesting, to say the least. I often wonder what He is trying to teach me. Probably to keep my mouth shut and don't suggest to anyone they need to do something. I get in so much trouble.

Today being the end of Father's day, I reckon I best put this computer away and spend some time with hubby before heading to bed. It's getting to that time. Hope you have a good week.


Friday, June 10, 2016

Breathe, Just Breathe

It's my last day before a week's vacation. Yes, that time off is finally here. And, I must say, I am looking forward to it. This week had been extremely busy and extremely crazy - and I have gotten nothing done that I wanted to. I had three sets of minutes I needed to do on Monday - and I still have three sets of minutes I need to get done. I simply must focus and get at least one of them done today.

Yesterday was very chaotic - we had a meeting with about 28 people - and I had lunch ordered - which came about 20 minutes late, and because the meeting had already started, they continued for another hour before they let the staff go get the food - baked ziti with sausage, garlic knots, buffalo chicken salad, cookies.... yum... - so I was busy trying to take care of that, make sure they had water and soda, enough chairs, etc. Then there was another big meeting and Mexican food was ordered for it - and it was crazy. I felt like I was running from one side of the building to another - in heels - and before I left the office yesterday I had already hit my 10,000 steps for the day - that's how busy it was for me.

But, here I am once again, at work, sitting here drinking my chocolate Shakeology shake for breakfast and trying to get a short post in before I must get on today's stuff. Had to get a check in the mail to a grandson of my best friend - hadn't gotten around to it yet. I miss my best friend. No one has ever taken her place, although I am very close to my boss (as a friend). But we aren't 'best friends'. In fact, in thinking about it, I don't think I have a best friend anymore. Besides not having the time to cultivate a deep friendship, I don't feel the freedom to have a close friend. Long story and not going into it.

My little sister and her husband arrive on Sunday morning and we will probably go out for breakfast once they arrive. Later in the afternoon we will head over to my daughter's house to have the first in a long time of family cookouts. I've really missed my family get-togethers. I feel we have all lost touch with each other and what's going on. The bond of family has been broken over the past couple of years and indifference and attitude had replaced love. It breaks my heart, but all I can do about it is pray.

We are having one of my favorites - next to hamburgers and hotdogs or chicken, of course - carne asada. I gave my daughter a check to help with some of the preparation as I know I could not pick up all that was needed and exactly what was needed. I don't mind doing that. I asked last night what she wanted me to bring - I hate to come empty handed - and my granddaughter piped up "your salsa"! So although we are having "white girl salsa", I guess that I will make up a couple quarts of my salsa for us to have. And I will grab an extra bag of chips cause I know we'll need them!

One of my sons is bringing - I think - cherry delight. That is, if he is up to making it. Hard pain in the back so he isn't getting around too well. Hopefully he can get into PT and get it helped. When one's back is out of sorts, the whole body feels out of sorts. I've had back pain before, but not like what he is having. Praying for his healing as well.

On the way in to work this morning I was thinking of all that I need to get done today, and the thought occurred to me to "Breathe, Just Breathe" - which is a song, by the way. I can only do and only accomplish what I set my hand to. Wishing it to get done won't happen. Praying for it to be completed won't happen unless I at first do my part and start it. Which is what I need to do right now.

Hopefully I can get my thoughts back together this next week and will find the joy in telling how God is working in my life. I have been broken and on a painful journey the past few years. But God hasn't given up on me, nor has He turned His back on me. I sit and wait, and rest, waiting on His timing to renew and refresh my spirit. Come, Holy Spirit, I need Thee.


Wednesday, May 18, 2016

I am so ready for time off.....

Work has been so busy lately with the merger of another company with ours. At first it didn't make any difference, but now that the actual merging of the two companies is imminent, it is getting crazy. And I'm getting annoyed. Don't want to get this person on my "bad" side - but she reports to MY boss.... and is only a Director.... and it feels like she is very aggressive and 'taking over' some things. And this is a silly feeling I'm having. Merging of some areas is normal - but .. well... ok -

Our director asked this other director had she thought any more about having a 'meet and greet' for the two departments. Now mind you, about 10 of the people from this company - and this person's department - will be moving directly into our offices to work with our people. Others will stay at the other company about 3 miles away for now. So I get copied on this email yesterday from this director (she had sent it to her AA) that for the AA to work with me - and we will have a breakfast HERE in our building NEXT WEEK.

I don't have time to coordinate anything in our building right now!! However, as I was on a project yesterday, the AA is calling me in about 20 minutes to discuss this. I did talk to our director about it - and she wasn't aware it was being set up so quickly. (wouldn't you think one director would talk to the other?) I DID tell our director that this other director had better watch out - I am territorial and I will not let her walk over 'my' people here! This person is very aggressive so it will prove interesting.

My boss is not in town this week so I can't go in and spout off to her. I just feel it needs more thought than just 'do this' attitude. I'm annoyed. I'm busy, and I'm sure the other AA is as well. Now if they wanted to do it there - I don't care - but if it's here, then I have to be involved and I have a lot of things to get done. PLUS it would need to start about 6:30am-ish and then there is overtime for the hourly people to come in (and some may not if they have small children they have to get off to school). There is a lot of things to take into consideration.

Well, I did IM my boss and she just responded, "let's do it." Boo. I thought she would be on my side.... but then, I didn't give her all the details, I just asked the question. Maybe I am too territorial and don't want this director involved in MY area.... I guess we started off on the wrong foot..... The first day I met her she was 'name-dropping' that she was 'friends' with the President of our Corporation in St. Louis and how he had hired her (now mind you, over 20 years ago and she only worked for the company 3 years before going elsewhere and eventually coming back to the Corporation about six-eight years ago). He probably doesn't even remember who she is, but she made sure I knew she had been hired by him and knew him personally. Name droppers. sigh. It's actually become a joke for she not only told me, I found out she also told our company President, my boss, our chief medical officer - and who knows who else.

She isn't happy that she has to report to MY boss who is a VP.... in the beginning she was put under the company President but now that we are lining things up - he can't wait to get rid of her. This should prove interesting cause I will have to have contact with her. I just feel she is going to try to push OUR director (of the same department) out and take it all over. I'm already annoyed just thinking about it.

Ok - I guess I've grumbled long enough. It's time for the AA to call me.

But on a good note - I was singing to the Lord on my way to work this morning the song "open up the heavens, I want to see You, open up the flood gates, a mighty river" and I kid you not - the cloudy sky opened up a hole and sun shined through it for about five minutes.

God is good.


Monday, May 9, 2016

What God is showing me....

seems to be a lot of waiting. It seems the more I ask, the more I seek His face, the more He has me wait.

This is the toughest part of all. I then begin to question the things I ask of Him.

Does He want me to do this? Or does He want me to do that? Should I get this? Should I not get this? Should I remain silent and just keep doing what I do? Or should I speak up and give suggestions as to what I think I should do? What should I do? So many questions, and right now I don't seem to be getting many answers.

So I wait.

And during this time of waiting, God is gently drawing me to Him. As I sit and be silent, He knows He has my attention. He doesn't speak, He doesn't move, but I know He is there. And it is comforting, and loving, and peaceful. I know that no matter what is going on, no matter what I feel, no matter what I am going through, no matter how many questions I ask, or what kind of questions I ask, I know beyond all doubt that He hears me.

He doesn't answer the way I want Him to. He doesn't respond to my pleading. At least, not in ways that I hear or see. But I know He is showing me love and great patience. He knows what is best for me, and for those I pray for. He knows when it is time to accomplish what He wants them to, and when I should remain silent.

How can I speak my opinions when He hasn't shown me they are right? I know, I seem to voice my opinions frequently, but that doesn't mean they come from Him. Some opinions come from my frustrations, from my hurt, from my anguish, or from me.

Through it all, God shows me He has good things planned for me, and for those I pray for. He is totally in charge and loves each of us individually. He cares for us and wants only the best for us.

I need to continue to just wait. And Listen. He is teaching me of Himself.


Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Saying prayers....

Every morning I say my prayers. Well, not always verbally, but sometimes in my mind, sometimes writing them out in my journal, sometimes in silence I just yield to what and how the Spirit leads me.

Many times my prayers are for healing of others, or even myself. Sometimes it is just to help me through another day. Or to bring blessings of financial rescue for someone in need. Or for a job for someone. Sometimes my prayers are just prayers of praise and blessings to God.

And it all depends on what is going on. Sometimes it is all of these - blended together in prayers that plead the blood of Jesus over those I care for, that they will feel the Presence of God and know that they are in His hands.

Have you ever driven down the road and felt you were not alone, yet you were? Could it be that someone has prayed for you, that Jesus would be with you as you go to work, go to the store, or wherever you are going?

What if you paused in your thinking at that moment, and talked with Him? What if you shared what was on your mind, on your heart?

What if you just told Him that you need some guidance, some wisdom, cause you just don't know what to do?

What if you just told Him that you know you have strayed from Him, and would like to find your way back?

He won't accuse you, He won't make you feel bad. He doesn't beat you up and tell you how terrible you are, how much you have sinned and how disappointed He is in you.... no, Jesus doesn't do that.

What He does do, is open His arms wide and wrap them around you, your heart, your mind, and whispers in your ear how much you are loved.

No matter what you have done, no matter how bad it is, how difficult life has become, Jesus is right there with you. He is walking with you in this journey of life.

And He is interceding for you to our Heavenly Father. Why? Because He loves you.

Take some time to talk with Him today. Ponder your life and where you see it going - and where it could go with Jesus in it. Trust Him. He's on your side. He's got your back.


Monday, April 18, 2016

What life is all about....

In my humble opinion, Life is about loving, living and delighting in God's miracles. His miracles can be of anything! The miracle can be the flower that is starting to open up and bloom - or one that is in full bloom.

His miracles can be the little seed that begins to burst forth out of the ground. Or they can be the beginning of a wait for a new child, watching it's growth within the womb. And the a greater miracle still, the birth of this child.

Have you ever watched a birth of an animal, or a child? It is amazing. Messy sometimes, yes; but amazing. To know that within the body of that person this 'thing', this 'person' was created. From the tiny body, even smaller fingers and toes, and usually a big head! - we ooh and ahh over such a birth. We are filled with great joy at this new miracle of life.

But what happens when this little body starts to grow? I've watched my daughter-in-law in amazement many times at the gentleness she has around people, especially children. She has taught me so much about being a good mother. I wish I had her as a model when I was growing up.

As I have shared many times, my childhood wasn't the best. A lot I have blocked out so that I don't remember. But what I do remember, wasn't love and patience or even gentleness. Unfortunately, because that is what I had been taught, that is what I sometimes passed on to my own children. With much regret I recall my lack of gentleness and patience. But I have always loved them. Loved them with a love that they will never understand until they reach the years I am at now.

I regret much of how my children were raised. I regret I was not a better example, a better mentor. I'm trying to do much better as a grandma, and I think I succeed at that. I find I have much more patience with the grandchildren, I'm even more loving, and if I need to swat a butt, I can do that too. Not that any of my grandchildren have ever needed that!

I was able to spend time with a couple granddaughters Saturday at a ladies tea. It was fun being with them, albeit the speaker went too long in my opinion. But it was fun and everyone said they wanted to come when they have it again. I'm thinking more of getting my granddaughters together and let's plan our OWN tea party at my house. Give them an opportunity to plan it and be involved in preparation. And, they can invite someone to join them if they want. It would be fun. And I think I will plan it with them.

Things like this are what I enjoy - what I call 'living life' - or at least part of it. There are many aspects of living life, of course. But for this day, I'm thinking of the tea and having fun with granddaughters.

Yesterday I was able to spend time with a grandson and have a talk with him. That was good too. I don't know what type of influence I had on him, but at least he knows I love him and wanted to spend some time with him.

Just like I like spending time with others - I want to pass this trait on. Never let go of caring for others enough that you would take time out of your busy schedule and spend time with them. One day you will wish you had.

Love them, share life with them, and delight in them. Let them share what they feel, let them know you care. Live life with them.


Tuesday, April 12, 2016

It was a fun weekend.....

I had a great weekend. At least, for me, it was great. We had lunch Saturday with a granddaughter and her fiancé and I passed on to her a fitbit that I had purchased from someone who didn't need it anymore. She wasn't too sure about it, but I encouraged her to use it just to see how many steps she took between school and work.

OH MY. Sunday I "challenged" my granddaughter and daughter via our Fitbits - and my granddaughter walked all over us - literally!! Well, the little stinker walked a lot and beat us both soundly. I didn't challenge her yesterday but she sends me a text last night. Now mind you, my goal is 10,000 steps a day. Some days that is difficult to reach and other days, very very difficult to reach. I only had about 6400 when I got home yesterday so I got on the treadmill. As I'm walking, I get this text from my granddaughter that says, "I need to set my goal at 16,000 for it to be a challenge for me."

SAY WHAT?? 16,000??!! Well, she reminded me, she does walk all over campus at school - and when she gets to work, she is working with one and two year old children who keep her running after them. She had over 14,000 before she even left work! So yes, I did encourage her to increase her steps to 16,000. But that probably also means that I will never be able to beat her unless she just doesn't go to work or doesn't have school. And that's ok.

I reminded her that even though I may give her a hard time about the walking and beating me all the time, to please remember it is only to be for FUN and for tracking how many steps we walk. I like challenges and therefore challenged her for today even though I am pretty confident she will badly beat me again - but it makes me push to get at least my goal. I had gotten really bad the past few weeks and only doing 6-7,000 because I had no one challenging me to do better. AND, the plus side, when I walk more, I will begin to lose this weight that I have added onto my body by not walking as much. I was doing real well there for awhile - then I quit. My bad!!

Sunday it rained most of the day - so what did I do? I baked a roast with potatoes for lunch and then baked cookies in the afternoon. Brought the cookies into work yesterday except for a few I left for hubby and his men's group. It was fun and I would have continued baking but I ran out of butter. That tells me I need to buy extra and keep in the freezer for times like this. Of course out here in Arizona it doesn't rain as much as some places. And listening to the news, Texas is getting hit bad again with rain and hail.

Work is keeping me busy - we are doing a lot of hiring and guess who gets to set up the interviews for my department. Yep - it be me. I have 4-5 I need to set up today already and more apps are coming in. I've already gotten several set up. At least I'm not on the interview itself - just setting them up.

And today is another busy day and I need to get at it. This rain has been good for my roses - they are blooming all over the front of the house and look so gorgeous.

Have a great day!